Healing
by GuiNeverWill
Summary: Before meeting her, Gaara didn't know that a life flame that once had shined so brightly could be extinguished before the death. Rated M because of later chapters.
1. I was walking dead stuck inside my head

**A/N: 'Sup!**

 **This story started as a chapter of _The Will of Fire Continues_ , but it turned out to have a plot of its own, so I decided to make it a new story. Also, there's references to the chapter 19 of TWoFC, if you haven't read it, it might be good to take a look to understand what "fake mistress" means ;)**

 **R &R.**

* * *

Gaara looked closely at his chopsticks and wondered why had he placed them sticking upward in the bowl of his morning gohan. He was pretty sure that it was a bad omen.

Now, the Fifth Kazekage wasn't a superstitious man, not at all. Still, the fact that he had made such unusual move in such an important day did bother him.

It was the very first day of Chunin Exams, that would be held in Sunagakure. That day they were expecting the other villages delegations to arrive. Gaara had personally checked and double checked everything to be sure that the incomers would be well accommodated and to demonstrate Suna's hospitality. But that was such a major event - not just for the villages, but for the young ninjas that would be participating on it - that even that little bad omen made him want to go through all the details again.

He didn't have the time to do that himself, though.

Gaara immediately texted one of his advisors and asked him to make sure that everything was in order for the exams. After that, he whispered a quiet "gochisousama" and went to his office.

There were already two people waiting for him.

"Kazekage-sama, Kumo's and Kiri's delegations are already here." Matsuri said with a mild blush.

"Iwa's delegation is here as well." Mikoshi also informed.

"Oh, that's good. How many of the smaller villages confirmed their participation?"

"Three. Hoshi, Shimo and Yu." He answered. "They are already here as well."

"Yu? That's rare… Everything's going smoothly so far?" Gaara asked, sitting behind his table.

"Perfectly, Kazekage-sama." The kunoichi answered. "We are just waiting for Konoha's delegation and we will take the examinees to the first phase."

"How many people from Konoha we are expecting?" The Fifth asked, steepling his fingers.

"Twelve examinees, four teachers and the Hokage's representative." Mikoshi told him, reading his clipboard.

"Right. They must be here anytime now. Please, go back to the venue and wait for them. Beware any black cats in the way." He instructed.

The two teammates exchanged a look but answered "Hai" and flew.

Gaara sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. 8:00 AM. Konoha still had one hour to the official beginning of the exams. He was wondering if Shikamaru was planning to arrive there just in time when he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in."

A masked person walked in. He identified Konoha's ANBU's uniform. The ANBU bowed.

"Kazekage-sama, it's an honor." Said a female voice. "I'm here as a representative of the Hokage."

That surprised him. "I was sure Naruto would send Shikamaru-nii… I mean, Shikamaru-san."

"He didn't." She answered laconically. Well, of course. An ANBU wouldn't give details about their mission to anyone except their Kage. "I have two messages to deliver to you, Kazekage-sama." She handed him two envelopes. "The red one is from Temari-san and it's to be shared with Kankurou-san. The white one is from Hokage-sama and I'm supposed to wait here until you have read it."  
Gaara blinked. That kunoichi surely talked like an ANBU. He opened Naruto's envelope.

 _Gaara, hey!  
This is Ki. She will be my eyes and ears of the exams till finals. Any issues regarding Konoha's examinees can be settled by her.  
See you in the finals,  
Naruto_

Gaara was just thinking that it was an obvious letter when he saw the PS.

 _P.S.: Look, Ki has been going through a very baleful phase, to the point she's compromising her position as a Konoha kunoichi. We thought that placing her closely to youngsters that are just starting their ninja paths might help her lift her spirits. Warn me if it backfires.  
_  
He looked up to her mask-covered face. "Ki, is that right?" She nodded. "I'm counting on you, then, Ki. Tell me if you need anything."  
"Same here, Kazekage-sama." Ki bowed. "May I go, Kazekage-sama?"  
"Sure."  
She bowed lower this time and vanished.  
Gaara sighed and a mix of floral and fruity aroma invaded his nostrils, but it faded away before he could identify the source. Hoping that it wasn't also a bad omen, he opened Temari's envelope to find a flash drive inside of it. Frowning, Gaara plugged it on his laptop and opened the only file inside the device: a video.  
"Hey, Gaara! Hi, Kankurou!" Greeted a 2D Temari. "How are you? We are doing good here. I heard that a few people from Konoha would be going to Suna so I thought I should send you a message..." Temari's smiling face disappeared from the video as she turned the camera away, pointing the lens to Nara's living room.  
He heard her footsteps and the image shook, showing now Temari's way to the veranda. There were Shikamaru and Shikadai, playing shogi and completely oblivious to their wife's/mother's presence.  
"Guys, say something to Gaara and Kankurou!" She said. Father and son stared at her. "Come on! I will send this video through Konoha's delegation to the Chunin Exams!"  
"That's power abuse." The boy stated.  
"It's not me who is going to Suna." Her husband informed.  
"I know, I will ask Harumi."  
Shikamaru's look turned into a judgmental gaze. A mute conversation seemed to go on between the couple then Shikamaru sighed and turned back to the shogi board.  
"Shikadai, say hi to uncle Gaara and Kankurou!"  
Gaara saw his nephew blink and heard him say: "Hi."  
He could imagine Temari rolling her eyes to that sentence as his sister turned the camera back to her face. She had an apologetic - but amused - face.  
"As you can see, things are the same as always here... Drop by whenever you can! Love you guys!"  
The image turned black.  
Feelings the corners of his mouth to curl up, he clicked the button to watch the video all over again. Seeing Temari's happy face on the 15 inches screen warmed his heart. Gaara missed her.  
Even now he still remembered the time she told her brothers that she and Shikamaru Nara, from Konoha, were dating. He remembered how shocked he was and how Kankurou answered with a excited: "Finally! It was obvious you two are into each other since ever."  
Then Gaara had smiled awkwardly and had said: "Yeah. Obvious."  
That had caused Temari and Kankurou to laugh silently.  
"Don't worry, Gaara." It were his sister's words to him. "You'll get it someday."  
He still hadn't. Romantic love still was a big mystery to him, especially because - as far as he was concerned - that kind of love seemed to be different to every person. And a not so very good experience a few years ago had taught him the people could be a little crazy about their loved ones.  
Last but not the least, Gaara didn't feel the need to fall in love. He was happy with the life he was living and couldn't even imagine how to fall in love with someone would be like.  
 _I can't even imagine someone falling for me._ He thought to himself.  
On the third time he watched the video, he realized something: Temari said she would ask "Harumi" to hand him the message and that had caused Shikamaru to be wrathful.  
From that, he could deduce two things: first, Ki's true name was Harumi; second, both Shikamaru and Temari knew what happened to Harumi. Gaara also guessed from his brother-in-law's expression that his sister was somewhat involved.

Weird. As weird as the fact that he was giving this stranger's problem so much thought.

"Gaara-sama. Every village we were expecting got here. We will begin the first stage." Yukata announced after knocking on the door. "Are you going to examination center, Kazekage-sama?"

"Yeah. Thank you. Every village leader representative is already there?"

"Yes. And Kankurou-sama already called every examinee inside the room."

"I better hurry, then. Thanks, Yukata." Gaara moved his head in appreciation then ran to the Academy.

As Yukata had said, representatives of all the leaders were already in the waiting room. There were couches and chairs to sit and a table with snacks but no one was sitting or eating. Harumi was staring at a piece of paper, completely oblivious to the dirty looks that were directed to her from time to time.

"Say, you there!" Omoi - as the Raikage's representative - called suddenly. "You're from Konoha, right?"

Harumi didn't look up, but nodded.

"I thought that that shadow guy would come as the Seventh Hokage's representative."

She didn't answer. Mizura - Hoshigakure's representative - pointed at Harumi.

"Could you at least take that mask off?" He asked. "I don't care if you're antipathetic presence, but I don't feel safe not knowing if you're friend or a foe in disguise."

There was a general humming of agreement.

She finally looked up and turned her gaze to Gaara, who gave an apologetic smile. He didn't bother the mask but he also didn't want it to cause a ruckus among the guests. If Harumi's mask was giving the people the butthurt…

The Kazekage thought he heard her sigh as she took of the maks. When it was completely off, she smiled sarcastically to Mizura and Omoi. Weird enough, after that, almost everyone turned their eyes away from her. Gaara didn't. He hadn't pictured her like that.

Knowing that she and Temari were close enough to ask for favors, he had imagined someone who would look like his sister: a pretty, but tough woman with a sassy smile and sparkling eyes. Harumi wasn't nothing like that.

Harumi had a past-waist long ginger hair framing her creamy, delicate face. And those eyes: because the gods couldn't decide which color was the prettiest, they colored her left eye like an emerald and the right one like a caramel.  
She was the most beautiful woman that Gaara had ever seen.  
No. That was not true.

She _could've_ been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen if her face wasn't so expressionless. Somehow, he could easily visualize how Harumi would look like if she smiled: the rosy lips opening up to show the white teeth, her smooth hair falling over her shoulder as she tilted her head to the side, the eyes sparkling with happiness... A memorable smile indeed.  
"You're Shikamaru-nii's fake mistress!" Gaara remembered.  
Harumi raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"  
The Kazekage felt his face blush. He didn't plan to say that out loud. "Oh, no... It's just that... I remembered I've seen you before. You were on that mission, that one the Fire Daimyo requested."  
Harumi nodded once, but of course Gaara's explanation didn't answer it all. Knowing that, he continued:  
"Have you ever checked on the report of that mission?"  
"No."  
"Don't. It's very misleading."  
For a second, it seemed like she would smile but then an even more stern expression showed up on her face. She turned back to the piece of paper. Because it felt awkward just stand by her without doing something, Gaara leaned to check on the paper as well.  
"Oh, it's the puzzle of the Exam." He realized.  
It was a rectangle divided in several smaller rectangles. Each examinee received a paper sheet with that picture and was told to cross all the sides of all rectangles with one single line without taking their pen off the paper, the line couldn't cross the same side two times nor cross itself. They had two hours to figure it out and could take as long as they'd like to start but they only got one shot.  
The thing was that puzzle was unsolvable. That's why the true point of that phase was to see if the examinee was persistent enough to keep trying to the end or if he or she was able to find out that the puzzle was unsolvable.  
"I'm checking if the puzzle really has no answer." Harumi explained.  
"I think so. Shikamaru-n...san said so himself."  
She froze for a second then said: "Shikamaru-sama is a very kind man. He and Temari-san are... amazing."  
"Are they?" Gaara asked, not because he didn't agree, but because he just wanted her to keep talking.  
She did open her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by a messenger.  
"Are you Ki-san, who's here representing the Hokage?" The Suna shinobi asked.  
Harumi showed up the perfectly expressionless face again and nodded once.  
"We have an examinee from Konoha who gave up. We need you to witness his interrogatory."  
That's right. Those who gave up because they figured the test out also needed to be confident enough to defend themselves against an interrogatory.

"Okay." She answered.

She followed the messenger to a narrow, plain room, that only had a chair, where a light haired boy was sitting.

"So," Harumi asked "why did you give up?"

"That test is unsolvable." The kid answered quickly.

"You were told that if you fail all your team would fail, right?"

"The test was unsolvable." He repeated.

She stared at him for a moment. "If you are so sure about it, why didn't you use the time you had left to convince your teammates about it?"

The boy shrugged. "I knew for sure that the test was unsolvable, not that I could make them believe me. Why should I risk my chances of getting it right?"

"You won't pass the test without your teammates." Harumi reminded him.

"I'm the only one who figured it out, _you'll have_ to let me pass." He argued.

The kunoichi narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "You don't know that."

"No one else gave up, ergo…"

"That only means that no one else figured it out and let their friends behind, you idiot! Don't think so highly of yourself!" She looked at the messenger. "Go and tell Kankurou-san he failed. You can go and tell your sensei yourself that you are a shame for the genins of Konoha."

Harumi turned to the door and left without looking back.

"Ha… Ki-san, don't you think you were too hard on him? He _did_ figured the test out." Gaara asked.

She looked at him seeming a bit surprised. She hadn't noticed the Kazekage had followed her since the waiting room.

"I just told him the truth." Harumi answered.

"He's just a kid. If you decided to make him fail on the test, I won't argue, but that boy is smart: you shouldn't smash his dreams just because he made a mistake."

"He's too calculating for a chunin. No, a person who would leave his friends behind without thinking twice like that shouldn't even be a genin on a team."

Gaara was shocked. Of course teamwork was important, but failing with your friends once on a test wasn't something he would consider a deadly sin like that, especially when the "sinner" was 12 years old. He must have showed some of his inner conflict on his face because Harumi sighed.

"It's like I'm saying the kid is useless, on the contrary, we could always use someone clever and knavish on ANBU." She spoke. "I will talk to my boss and to the Hokage-sama about it."

That was even more confusing. "I thought you said those were bad things."

"Not for an ANBU."

"Why is that?"

Harumi tilted her head to the side once before saying: "We're different for regular shinobi: the ANBU must finish its missions takes whatever it takes."

"But Konohagakure's ANBU is different now, isn't it?" Gaara asked.

It was a fact known by everyone that, under the command of the Sixth Hokage, their ANBU started to change: they didn't have to hide their identity all the time, they got their own commander which made them a serious institution, ending the idea of "secret service"... Naruto kept on the changes started by his predecessor and all the kages were considering to adopt the same system to their ANBU.

It was disappointing to see a capable ANBU kunoichi to talk like that.

But the worst was yet to come: Harumi chuckled darkly and watched him with the corners of her eyes.

"Kazekage-sama, even if we dropped the eery atmosphere, we're still killing people."

She walked back inside the waiting room.

Gaara stayed back for a while, trying to remember how to make his limbs move.

 _This woman is different from Shikamaru-nii's fake mistress._ He thought to himself. _This_ Harumi would never be able to smile so brightly and memorably.

 _This_ Harumi was so close to being happy as Gaara was when he first took the chunin shiken.


	2. He never ever saw it coming at all

**A/N: Hello, there! Here's the new chapter. I hope you like it and I'm waiting for the feedback! Thanks to the ones who favorited and/or are following the fic!**

 **Lock on Lockon: Tnx, here you go! XD**

* * *

 _Naruto,_

 _I need to ask you something about Harumi. To put it simply: what happened to her? Not long ago she had the prettiest smile I ever saw, now… she's lifeless._

 _What went wrong? What took away her happiness?_

Looking at his email, Gaara decided it sounded too desperate. Especially for something he was sending in the middle of the night. He deleted all the words except his friend's name and wrote: "What happened to Harumi?" instead.

Yeah, that sounded less weird.

He sent the email and looked at the clock. It was a quarter after two. No way Naruto see his email so late.

He was about to turn off his laptop when a reply appeared on his inbox: _Video chat. Now._

Yeah, maybe working late was a must for all the Kage.

Gaara opened his video chat program and clicked on Naruto's nickname. His friend concerned face popped up on the screen. Well, at least he _seemed_ to be concerned under the thick, shapeless layer of colored makeup he had on his face.

"Nice make up. All those… manly colors." Gaara couldn't help but tease.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Oh, huh, I was playing with my daughter before." He wiped the makeup off his face with the hem of his pajama shirt. "So, did Harumi do something?"

"She… doesn't believe on ANBU. Not how she _should_ believe." Gaara summed up.

Naruto sucked his teeth. "That's a shame. Harumi had the potential to be next commander of ANBU." The Seventh Hokage frowned. "Wait a second, did she tell you her name?"

"Oh, no. Temari did… It was an accident, I think."

"I see… It isn't too hard to figure it out, anyway. Ki and Haru." (A/N: from Kisetsu - season - and 'spring') Naruto sighed. "Didn't you wonder why I sent someone other than Shikamaru as my representative?"

Gaara shrugged. "You told me on your letter that you were trying to cheer her up."

"Do you think is working?"

"No." He answered honestly.

"Yeah, so it seems… I guess I will have to discharge her for good then."

Gaara widened his eyes. "Isn't that a bit too much? You said she is going through a baleful phase, but is it really _that_ bad?"

"You know, after the war was over and the times changed, the need to rethink ANBU started to become more and more eminent. Especially here on Konoha, where we used to have a little thing called 'the Root', something inside ANBU that was even darker than ANBU itself." Naruto explained. "Having been a member of the ANBU himself, Kakashi-sensei created the post of the ANBU commander: a person who would watch his subordinates closely and to prevent them from being consumed by the darkness surrounding them. To do that, no one is better than Sai, you know him."

Gaara nodded. Even now he still would have a hard time holding back a chuckle every time he reminded the unique personality of Temari's "man of honor". Indeed, it should be quite refreshing to stay near someone so delighted about life.

"He has been doing a great job: on these eight years, he only failed once." Naruto told him.

"With Harumi?"

"Yes, and it seems she's doomed."

"What happened to her?" Gaara wondered.

"It's not my place to tell you that."

"And are you sure you want to fire her?"

"No. I don't even _want_ to do that: Harumi is by far the best kunoichi on ANBU and she's probably the stronger offensive genjutsu user we have." Even through the webcam, Gaara could see how much his friend was conflicted. "I've told you the reason she's there is because we are trying to cheer her up, but above all, this mission was her last chance to prove she's a ninja not a mercenary."

"Is it really that bad?" The Kazekage asked again.

Naruto looked away and smacked his lips before starting the answer:

"In order to change ANBU's self-image we adopted a new policy: their function is not to kill, it's neutralize and no mission worth the life of a companion. Despite all that, Harumi's murder rate is higher than the rest of ANBU together and, besides, last month, in order to accomplish a mission..."

"Let me guess: did Harumi let her friends behind?"

"No." He sighed. "She killed them."

"Wow." It was all Gaara could say.

"That's why I think being a kunoichi is not right for her. Maybe it is better to make her step back."

Gaara opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by a child's voice:

"Daddy?"

Naruto turned his head to look at someone out of the reach of the webcam. "Yes, sweetie? Whatcha doing out of bed?"

"I can't find onii-chan."

"Boruto isn't home today, he's sleeping over at uncle Sai's house, remember?"

"But I don't want to sleep alone. There's a huge cyclops on my wall." The speaker finally became visible: a five-year-old little girl, with dark short hair and big blue eyes.

"Okay, so do you wanna sleep with mom and dad? If there's a cyclops on the house, someone should stay with mom to protect her… Will you protect her while dad beats this evil cyclops?"

Himawari gave it a thought then nodded. Naruto grabbed her in his arms. "I'll take her to her mother. Just a second, Gaara."

"No problem."

While he waited, Gaara felt his face open up on a smile, despite the tension he was feeling because of the subject.

He was glad to see his precious friend being so happy: no one deserved such a beautiful family better than Naruto, it was gratifying to see someone who had once been ostracized to achieve all his dreams. It was nice to see the life that had nothing but loneliness to shine like the sun… It was as nice as thinking of Harumi was heart-breaking.

She was the opposite of them: Harumi _had_ a light, she _was_ happy but now, for some reason, she was purposely wallowing in darkness. The situation was so bad that even Naruto, whose motto was to never go back on his word, was giving up on her.

That was also disappointing. Naruto was known for changing people's life, no one was better than him on making a person who's lost in the dark to see the light.

Why won't him help her?

An answer formed on the back of his mind. Maybe Naruto couldn't help her. Maybe he couldn't understand the entrenched thorns in her heart.

Such a good, gentle and loyal person would never understand why someone would murder a friend.

Gaara did.

That was it. He could do it. He could finally pay someone back the gift he had received from Naruto many years ago.

Naruto came back to his place in front of the webcam.

"I'll fix her." Gaara told him.

"Huh?"

Gaara remembered Naruto didn't participate on his lucubration. "Let me try to help her: I think I know how she's feeling. There's good in her and I think I… No, I _know_ I can show her the light again."

Naruto smiled, relived. "Thank you, Gaara. Thank you very much."

"I'm still the one who should be thanking you."

Naruto smiled again but then the smile was out like a light. "Gaara, you should be careful. Harumi is not an easily approachable person. After what happened these days… Actually, even before that…" Naruto froze and didn't keep talking.

"Not your place to tell me?" Gaara guessed.

Naruto shook his head. "No, this time is more because, if tell you, you might give up." He inhaled deeply. "I'm counting on you, Gaara."

"I won't let you down."

The smile was back. "Thanks. I wouldn't guess that… Hey, do you think she planned all this?"

"Who?"

"Your sister. She was the one who suggested me to send Harumi to the Chunin Exams. Do you think she knew you try to help Harumi?"

Gaara gave it a thought. "Probably."

The blond man chuckled. "Now, I should really go back to bed before my wife and daughter get…"

"Devoured by an evil giant?"

"It's an evil _cyclops_." He waved Gaara goodbye. "Good luck."

They logged off at the same time.

Then the Kazekage finally realized something: he had no idea of how to do that. He had his heart reached because of a fight, but he didn't think he could use the same method with Harumi. To say the least, it would be pretty weird if the Kazekage suddenly picked up a fight with an foreigner kunoichi who was, basically, a stranger to him.

Besides, Gaara was a middle range fighter, genjutsu users used to be close range: with such a combination, the fight would end too quickly for them to get a grasp of each other's feelings.

Then again, punching some sense into someone wasn't something you could do with women.

 _But if I run out of options…_

No, no. He was looking at it from the wrong perspective. He shouldn't plan his actions based on what worked on _him_ but on what he thought what would work on her. But that was even worse: he knew nothing about her.

Not just that, Gaara was useless when it came to females in general. Well, he had never met his mom and the only woman he was close to with was his sister, but Temari used to work so hard on suppressing anything vaguely 'girly' about her personality that she almost didn't count as a reference.

That didn't mean she couldn't help at all. After all, Temari at least _knew_ Harumi. Gaara was pretty much an outsider who kept calling her without a suffix in his mind when, actually, she hadn't even told him her name. And if Gaara thinked of her as a stranger, Harumi probably thought of him as… Well, she probably didn't even think of him at all.

That was why it wasn't a bad idea to ask Temari for advice. Sure his sister would at least be able to offer him a start point, he grabbed his phone and called her.

The phone rang five times before someone picked up. A weak, distant voice said:

"Hello?"

"Temari?"

"No."

"Huh, Shikamaru-nii?" Silence. "Hello?"

"Hello."

"Shikamaru-nii, is everything alright?"

"Who is it?"

"Gaara."

"Gaara… of Suna?"

Gaara - of Suna - chuckled. "How many Gaaras do you know?"

"Gaara of Suna?"

"Shikamaru, shut up!" Another voice said. Now it was really Temari. "What is it?"

"I think some jerk is making a prank call pretending to be you brother."

There was a sigh and a few noises on the phone and then Temari's voice sounded through it: "Who is it? I'm hanging up!"

"It's Gaara!" The Kazekage answered a bit amused. What was wrong with them?

"Gaara… of the Desert?"

"No, Gaara of the rain forest! Of course it's me, Temari! Come on!"

There was a long silence then: "Gaara."

"Yes?"

"Do you know what time is it?"

Gaara checked his watch. 3 a.m. Crap. He had forgotten how late it was.

"Geez, sorry. Go back to sleep, I'll call you tomo… I mean, later today."

Temari snorted. "I'm awake now anyway, so spit it out already."

"Okay, Huh… First, thank you for the video. I watched three times already. Secondly, about Harumi…"

"Wow, wow, wow. What about Harumi? Did she do something? Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah. Why the worry?"

"Harumi can be very… Never mind. So, about Harumi…?"

Gaara gulped. He didn't know how to start. That was just great: he hadn't even _talked_ to Harumi after deciding to help her and he was already lost.

"I've heard she's doing… bad."

"Yeah, you could say that. So?"

"Uh, I think that… Well…" Everything that crossed his mind sounded too pretentious: God, did he really say he would _fix_ her? Who the hell did he think he was?

"Gaara, I love you, but I won't stay awake just to hear you stutter." Temari complained.

"Well, I see a lot of my old self on her and I think I could help her see the light again. Even if she doesn't want to."

On the other side of the line, his sister smiled.

"Oh, good, you'll help her! I was praying for it! Do you need anything? Ask whatever you want!"

"Right, then, what happened to her?"

"Ugh."

He sighed. "Never mind."

"No, wait. I can't tell you _exactly_ what happened, but let me give you the big picture, okay?"

"That would be a big help."

"You see, you said you saw a lot of your old self on her… That's quite right."

Gaara frowned. "She has a tailed beast inside her?!"

"Don't be so literal!" Temari enraged. "Think about how being rejected by your own village made you feel."

Gaara didn't have to work too hard to remember that. "Lost. Alone. Sad. Confused… then angry, lusting for blood…"

"Yeah, let's focus on stopping Harumi before she gets to that." Temari change the phone to the other ear. "That's it. Except that, after you wigged out completely, you found comfort on hate, on killing… Harumi doesn't have even that. She lost her purpose to live."

"But she is not alone. She has friends, you and Naruto seem to care a lot for her." Gaara argued.

"It doesn't make a difference how we feel if our feeling can't reach her. You're right, though, I really care… But it is not like we were _close_ before, I just happen to be her boss' best friend. And she is… she used to be… in really good terms with Sai."

Gaara thought his sister's voice sound a bit odd when she said those words. It was like she was insinuating something different from what she was speaking. As he wasn't really good with innuendos, so he asked:

"Do you think Sai's involved in whatever happened to Harumi?"

"I _know_ Sai's involved." She said. Once again, those words sounded really meaningful. Gosh, if Temari was willing to give him so many hints, why couldn't she just tell him what the heck had happened already?

"I should ask Sai-san, then?"

"I don't know if he would tell you, anyway. The easier source is surely Harumi."

Gaara frowned. "And she would tell _me_? A perfect stranger?"

"She will. If you ask properly and gain her trust."

Gaara remained silent for a while, then he and his sister spoke at the same time:

"Gaara, I..."

"Temari, I..."

"You go first." Temari gave in.

"I want to ask something. Naruto said you were the one who gave him the suggestion of sending Harumi here."

"Yeah, I did."

"Why? You just said you and her aren't close. Why would you go so far for your friend's subordinate?"

Temari pressed her lips together. Sometimes she would forget how keen Gaara really were.

"I can't explain it well enough… I guess it is because, even though we aren't friends, the little I know about Harumi already made me realize she's special. She is someone who is worth saving. Besides, ever since she changed, Sai have been down too. He tries to hide it, but I know he blames himself."

"And your original plan was just the 'get her close to youngsters' thing or you always knew I would try to help?"

"I _hoped_ you would."

"And why is that?"

"Because if there's anyone who can bring back to life someone who was consumed by their own darkness, it's you. With every bit of awkwardness and insecurities you have. Don't worry. You will do just fine."

For Temari surprise, she heard Gaara chuckle.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that you're really clever, Temari. I guess you and Shikamaru-nii _do_ have something in common, then.."

It was Temari's turn to chuckle. "Need anything else? I'm starting to get really sleepy."

"Well, I… don't know how to do it. I want to help her to be happy again but I don't know _how_."

"What made you happy back then?"

"The thought that I might be needed by someone for who I am, not for who one would want me to be."

"That's it, Gaara. You should work on make her feel needed."

" _I see!_ I can do that! That's it! Thank you, sis, you're awesome." Gaara hang up before she could say something back.

Temari smiled. She could already imagine her little brother starting to plan something enthusiastically, forgetting completely that it was late and he was an early worker Kage.

"So that's why you filmed that video and made Harumi hand him to you?" Shikamaru asked when his wife lied back on bed. "You were trying to make sure they would meet, that he would know her name and get interested on her problems, weren't you?"

Temari sighed. "I needed Gaara to notice her."

"Mah… You realize you might be throwing your brother to the wolves, right?"

"Harumi is not a wolf. She won't hurt him."

"She hurt Sai."

Temari closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about that. "I really do think he can do it. Gaara will be fine. Harumi soon will be too."

"If you believe that, I do too." Shikamaru proclaimed. "I trust your brother and I trust _you_."

She smiled softly and touched his face. "I love you."

"Yeah… and I would love to sleep now."

Nevertheless, Shikamaru took her hand on his and started to draw small patterns with his fingers on it, softly. He didn't stop it until after both of them were asleep.

* * *

The second phase of the Chunin Exams was planned by the Kazekage himself and was taking place on Suna's underground.

"Now, listen," Gaara was saying to the examinees as they stood on the entry of the undergrounds "this is the last phase that you will be doing as teams, which means that those who pass today will be on their own, but today the rules are the same as yesterday's test: or the whole team makes it, or no one makes it." He took a breath.

"The test is quite simple: a integrant of each team will be blindfolded, muzzled and will have their noses and ears clogged, that is to say that this person will have to be guided by touch. After you got in, you'll have three hours to find your way out."

Gaara gave a few seconds to the "That's really easy! We can make it!" chattering to cease.

"Oh, and don't forget: you can only get out after you get rid of the _all_ obstructions on your teammate's or yours senses and the only way of doing it is passing it to someone else. If the time is up and you're still down there or if there's anyone on your team with eyes, mouth, ears or nose covered, you fail."

The chattering was back, now sounding more cautious.

"Any technique, weapon, strategy is allowed, but, please, remember you will be on a city's underground, so you must avoid potentially destructive actions… especially if you reach the sewer or the catacombs."

Now the examinees went quiet.

"Questions? No? So, ready, set… Good luck… And go!"

The teams flew through the entrance without thinking twice. Gaara smiled a bit before turning to the representative's of the other Kage and the leaders of the smaller villages that were taking part on the exam.

They and the teachers of the genins that were taking the exam were in a bunker with large screens displaying the images captured by several security cameras in the undergrounds. Harumi was there, of course, showing the usual nonchalant face, and, exactly like the day before, her aura of indifference seemed to function as a wall that isolated her from others.

"Good morning." He greeted all. A few answered him, not Harumi, who was now really focused on something on the screen. He got closer to her. "Haru...ka is a really smart girl." Gaara said, trying to cover up his bloop looking at the screen.

Harumi raised an eyebrow. "Which one of them is Haruka?"

"None. Haruka is a girl I know which I just happen to remember now her."

The eyebrow was replaced by her narrowing her eyes. "Kazekage-sama, do you…?"

"Do I have a favor to ask you? I do! Actually, one of the shinobi that should go through the underground to hinder the examination is sick today and couldn't make it. Could you replace him? You just need to trouble with traps or something and then, after the time is up, show to the ones who didn't make it the way out."

Oddly, she smirked. Gaara would rather she didn't. That smirk was nothing like that smile she showed on the picture nor the sarcastic smile she gave Mizura and Omoi on the day before, no. That smirk was… evil. Like she was actually _happy_ for being told to stand on those kids' way to their dream and not because she was feeling useful.

"Can I use my mask?" She asked.

Gaara gulped and nodded, afraid that, if he dared to talk, his voice would crack. Harumi smiled for real now. If only the reason she was smiling wasn't so dire, Gaara would have said that it was a beautiful smile.

"Thank you." She said. "I'll do it, then. Kazekage-sama, would you see me out?"

He nodded again and they walked out the bunker. When they got to the entrance, Harumi pulled out her rabbit-shaped mask and placed over her face.

"You know, Kazekage-sama," Harumi started to say slowly "I don't dislike my name."

"What do you mean?" He asked, genuinely confused.

The kunoichi looked back to him, it surprised him how, under that mask, her green eye shone brightly. "You've known my real name since yesterday, right? And, well, 'Harumi' is not a name I dislike, so I don't mind if you call me like that. At least not when we're off duty. "

Gaara felt his cheek flush a bit. Yeah, he was never a good liar.

"But why would I meet you off duty?"

She tilted her head to the side and then turned back to the entrance of the underground. "Well… I still wanna know how do you know my name, I'm craving for a juice hamburger, and Suna is famous for making good ones and I'm free tonight."

"Oh." Gaara answered. She had forgotten to mention that the men of Suna were famous for their killer lines.

"Just… think about it." The green sparkle was gone for a second, as she had winked at him. Harumi was gone before he could say something (well, not that he had managed to _think_ about something to say, anyway).

"That isn't exactly what I would call _nonchalant_." Gaara finally managed to say out loud.

He was going to need a new adjective to describe her. Maybe "nuts" was more suited.


	3. Playing with this bow and arrow

**A/N: Hello there, boys and girls!**

 **So, as you may notice, I've changed the rating of the fic to M. You'll find out why on this chapter. Honestly, I didn't plan this to be an 'adult' fanfic, it just… happened.**

 **To those who don't like those kind of stories, I've marked in bold the first and the last word of the smutty part. On the rest of the chapter, you may find some cursing and some sex-related themes tops.**

 **Sit back and enjoy!**

* * *

Less than half of the genins that started the second phase managed to pass it. Coincidentally, all the teams that headed to the aqueducts - where Harumi happened to center her attacks - had failed.

The team who finished first was the one that had captured her attention on the screen before: three genins from Iwa had figured out that they would move faster if they shared the burden, one of them took the earplugs and the muzzle, other took the nose plug and the one who had been clogged originally kept they blindfold. It was way easier to pass one or two obstruction items than four. They came up with a smart solution that, despite breaking the original proposal a bit, showed a coordinated and efficient teamwork.

The one-on-one duels were settled to the next month. Until then, Gaara routine would go back to normal… except for the fact that he couldn't get Harumi's words out of his head.

No, that wasn't accurate. The thoughts of her were more like an intermittent drip: Harumi, Suna, Chunin Exams, Harumi, Suna, ASF, Suna, Harumi… And it had only been a few hours since she had asked.

Sighing, Gaara opened the file that Naruto had sent him a few months before, containing the mission involving the Fire Daimyo's valet. He clicked the page where Harumi appeared smiling brightly at Shikamaru. Definitely, that 2D, motionless picture had twice the life force that the real Harumi had now. He had to give her an answer.

Thinking back, Gaara decided that her invitation was no big deal - actually, it was a great opportunity to get closer to her. What he couldn't figure out was _why_ she had asked him. As far he was concerned, he hadn't done anything to make her want to get closer to him as a person. Come on! The day before she was reluctant to show him her face and now she wanted to have dinner together with him?

And hadn't Naruto told him she wasn't a person that was easy to get close to? And Temari's reaction when he talked about her on the phone " _Harumi can be very… Never mind"_... Why didn't the things he heard and thought about her match the real Harumi?

And why he was so afraid of saying yes to her invitation and finding out himself?

"It does sound like the most practical solution." He said to himself and, like alway, he had forgotten to check if he was alone before starting to talk to himself like a lunatic, but, luckily, this time no one was there.

Gaara took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote his number and email on it. Then he wrote: _I do know a place with nice hamburgers. If you're up to it, I can pick you up around nine. Send me the answer anyway you want._

"Mikoshi?" He called. The young assistant was there in a second. "I need you to deliver this" he hand him the now folded piece of paper "to Ki-san."

"From Konoha?" He confirmed.

"Yes."

"Understood, Kazekage-sama. Should I wait for a reply?"

"Only if she asks you to. Thank you, Mikoshi."

He had only to wait a few minutes before a new email from an unknown address popped up on his inbox.

 _Nine it is. Your treat._

Gaara chuckled. That was an unexpected turn of events: he had found out a new layer on Harumi that didn't clicked with neither of those he had seen so far. On the dawn before, when he was making his plans to Harumi, Gaara couldn't even imagine she would be so eager to be friends with him.

He still didn't know why, though, but first things first.

And that moment, the first thing was actually find out a place in Suna that served hamburgers.

* * *

"I see… So Temari-san was the one who snitched my name." Harumi said between lickerish bites on her double-cheddar-bacon hamburger.

She and Gaara were at a old, but cozy, bar that Kankurou had recommended him (not without teasing him for a hour about his dinner with Harumi). Besides them, there were a young couple with a kid and two men, that were watching the television that displayed some variety show Gaara didn't know.

Even if none of the other clients were actually looking at him, the Kazekage felt strangely observed. Probably, it was just the feeling of having Harumi's multicolored eyes watching him so openly and closely. He was feeling so sheepish with that, that he was avoiding to look up from his plate. When she looked at the small family near them, Gaara peeked on her. She was wearing a white buttons-down shirt, tight jeans and ankles boots. Casually perfect.

Definitely, even without the glorious smile and the life force she once had, Harumi still made it to his top 3.

He noticed, although, that her expression had changed: ever since she ordered him to invite her to dinner, she had showed a… not really _happy_ or _joyful_ , but an _amused_ expression, now she had her poker face back on. That made him frown. _Geez, what was making her moods swing like that?_

Harumi turned her eyes back to him and Gaara held it. The friendly Harumi was baffling, but he could handle the cold Harumi.

"I have another question." She announced. "Kazekage-sama, why are you so… concerned about me?"

Gaara picked a french frie on his plate before answering. "The difference between you and your old self is too remarkable."

"My 'old self'?"

"Yes."

"You're saying that based on the pictures of that report you mentioned yesterday?"

"Yes." He answered. _Was it really only yesterday?_

She knitted an eyebrow and leaned her head on a hand. "Can you really say I've changed based on how I look on a _picture_?"

"It's not just that." Gaara shook his head. "I remember being mesmerized not only with your bright aura, but how Shikamaru-nii was happy too. Your light was illuminating him. Takes a really special person to do that and you certainly can't… no, you certainly _wouldn't want_ to do that now."

Harumi pressed her lips together and nodded, impressed. "I'm both offended and flattered." Gaara chuckled and she added: "It's your turn to ask. Ask anything you wanna know."

His question was on the tip of his tongue. "What made you change?"

So was her answer. "What makes any girl change: a broken heart."

It wasn't exactly the answer he was expecting. Could it really be that simple? Could a heartbreak really change a person so deeply? And how Sai-san would fit on that?

He hadn't realized he had asked the last question out loud until Harumi answered:

"Did Temari-san tell you even that?" Gaara opened his mouth to say something back but she sighed. "Doesn't matter." Another sigh. "It's really obvious, isn't it? I was in love with Sai-sama."

"And Sai-san rejected you?" He conjectured.

"No."

Gaara dropped the french frie. "Did he accept your feelings? But he's married!"

"No!" She rolled her eyes. "I never confessed. I just figured out that he would never love me back."

"That doesn't mean you're not important to him! Actually,..."

"It doesn't matter. It still means that I'm not good enough to him."

Gaara stayed silent. He didn't know what he was supposed to say after that. He felt like he should deny it, but _how_? He didn't know Sai's feelings nor how he felt about Harumi.

"I don't think you know how many people still hold you dearly and pray to see you back on your feet." He finally said.

"I'm still on my feet."

"But now it seems like you're… dying."

"And aren't we all?"

"You used to look like you were just living."

It was Harumi's turn to look at her plate. After an awkwardly long silence, she lifted her gaze at him.

"I assume you are going to try to 'cure me', 'make me normal', 'take me to the bright side'... How are you calling it?"

"Help you." He answered. "And you assume correctly."

"I'm also assuming that, in order of 'helping' me, you'll need my cooperation and willingness."

Gaara nodded and she smiled.

"Then you would be very happy if I told you I am willing to coadunate with your little scham. I mean, as long it works on my terms."

"I'm listening." That conversation was taking a strange path. The feeling was all wrong: the way she was speaking, the mood, it all made him feel like he was in the middle of a meeting with Suna's Council.

"We'll do it by give and take."

Gaara steepled his fingers. "So if I do something you ask, you will do something I ask, even if it's to let me try to help you." Harumi nodded. "So, what do you want from me?"

"Do me."

He waited for her to complete her sentence. She didn't. Harumi tilted her head and smiled, slowly and libidinously. The penny dropped.

"Oh."

Once again, the way with words of the gentlemen of Sunagakure.

"You should only do that sort of thing with someone you love." Was his answer.

Harumi's smile become amused. "Well, given the fact that the man I love _won't_ fuck me, I'm looking for someone to get me off."

Gaara was aghast. He didn't know if it was because of the proposition or because he was stunned by how naturally she said those dirty things. He kept staring at her with his jaw dropped as she looked at him with alluring eyes.

"I… We can't do that. It wouldn't be appropriate."

"Come on, don't be so prude, I know you want me too."

That sentence set his face on fire. "I don't…!"

She leaned over the table in his direction, now Gaara had a much better view of the crook of her neck that guided his gaze directly to the beautifully sculpted cleavage. The Kazekage gulped and looked up at her face but the sight was no less mouth-watering: he had an emerald and an amber sparkling at him with lust, those big yet delicate red lips, the bronze soft hair framing her face… God, he wanted her. _Badly_.

"I can't…" He tried to argue with the burning desire that filled his body.

"Why?" She asked simply.

 _Why?_ Why he couldn't take her when she was offering herself to him like that? They were both adults, single and she wasn't _his_ subordinate. They could do whatever they want. Besides, wasn't her proposition the best way to accomplish his goal?

Harumi moved her hair and a wonderful scent - the perfect mix between a fruity and floral aroma - reached him.

 _So she is the source of that scent I smelled yesterday._ Gaara remembered with the back of his head.

"I also must say I don't mind if you decide after you… sampled the goods." She licked her lips just to make them even more entrancing. "You have sex with me tonight and if you feel anything but ecstasy afterwards, you can call it off. But if you decide it worths it - and it _will_ worth it -, then we have a deal."

Until that moment, Gaara had never felt such a great urge to do anything. He never had before such a massive desire that made him unable to think of anything but the object of his desire. Still, a tiny voice of his consciousness was screaming that it was all very wrong. After all, he wasn't in love with her, she wasn't in love with him, they had met the day before and he wasn't the kind of guy who would initiate an intimate relationship with someone just because she was hot as hell. And even if he had pledged to help her, using such a _lewd_ way to make it easier sounded so… tempting.

Was that indecent proposal the way he would use to ignite her life flame once again? Was that the answer to the question he was mulling over for, well, hours?

"Why me?" He asked her. "Why are you asking _me_ to sleep with you when there are plenty of your fellow countrymen that could do it better and with no guilty?"

Harumi shrugged. "Because all I need is some relief and after this Exams are over I'll never see you again."

Seeing that pretty mouth say those cold words broke his heart. It was really tragic that such a young woman was so full of death.

Just to buy himself some time, Gaara waved to the waitress and asked for the bill. Harumi waited patiently as he paid for it, and as he was given back the change, and as he waved the staff goodbye, and as she followed him out… She just spoke when they were already many blocks away from the restaurant:

"Your answer is?"

Gaara turned around to ask her to give him some time to think when she stood on her tiptoe to put her arms around him and smash her lips against his. Because his mouth was open, her tongue was free to invade it and and circle around the insides of his mouth, forcing him to move his own tongue. When he did, she moaned and a chill ran down his spine at the same time a wave of warmth hit him hard. He also placed his arms around her, enjoying the hot feeling of her body, drowning on that delightful scent, until she broke the kiss slowly and whispered by his lips:

"Please say yes."

Too much for self control. Gaara hugged her tightly and nodded.

* * *

 **Gaara** was now sitting on the red leather armchair of his bedroom with Harumi on his lap as they kissed deeply. Now her hands were bolder, running through his neck, chest and arms as he felt all the places she touched burn. He pulled her closer to him, feeling her lithe body to press tight against him, he knew she could feel his erection through his clothes being that close, but he didn't even bother to feel self conscious about it. He was starting to think that her touch was some sort of mind controlling jutsu.

Harumi break the kiss again, this time catch her breath. "Man, you're good at this." She panted.

"Glad you think so, because that is pretty much all that I know to do." Gaara said honestly.

Harumi made a cute expression between a smirk and a frown. "What? Are you a virgin?"

The Kazekage shrugged, trying hard not to blush. "Before this, I never felt the need to do those kind of stuff and being super-busy all the time didn't help."

"So you don't even masturbate?"

Now his cheeks did burn. "Well, I'm human, so… Geez, how can you say stuff like that so naturally?"

She laughed a bit. Even her laughter was sexy to him at a time like that. Harumi got up, but leaned towards him, bracing herself on the armrests, so her face was still really close to his.

"Relax." She cooed. "You just sit back and leave it all to me." She straightened her back and took a step back, keeping eye contact, telling him silently to look at her. Like it was necessary. Like Gaara could look at anywhere else. She placed her foot on his seat, on the space between his legs, then she slowly unzipped her boot and _slowlier_ stripped it, doing the same with the black silk sock she was wearing under it and revealing the toenails painted red. After baring the other foot the same way, her hands moved up to her belt and took it off.

Harumi dropped her head to the side. "I kinda want to bind your wrists with this, but that might be a bit too scary for your first time. What a shame… Maybe next time."

"What?!"

Harumi dropped the belt. "Kidding." She chuckled as she untucked her white shirt from her jeans. Harumi opened the first three buttons of her shirt, then moved back to her pants, sliding them off her legs leisurely, leaning forward as she did so, giving Gaara a glimpse of her breasts and bra. He licked his lips and she gave him a wanton smile. Seeing Harumi like that, almost naked but showing him nothing, was both hot and maddening. He started to drum his fingers on the armrest and she resumed to unbutton her shirt.

Just on her black laced bra and panties, she kneeled on the floor between his legs and started to unzip his pants.

"Ah, Harumi, I can do that by…"

She shushed him by placing her index finger on his lips. "Gaara-sama, I said I would take care of everything, didn't I?"

"You did, but…"

"So, shut up and enjoy."

Gaara had to smile. "You used my name."

"Well, it would be weird to call you 'Kazekage-sama' when I'm half naked and feeling your hard penis under my hands."

Before Gaara could even react to that sentence, she finally reached his hardness under his clothes and set him free.

It was her turn to lick her lips. "Well-endowed. Nice." She stoked him a few times, making him shiver.

To his surprise, Harumi suddenly opened her mouth and took the head of his dick in between her moist lips. Gaara tried to push her back, mortified.

"Don't! What do you…?" His inquiries died on his throat, muffled by a guttural grunt that escaped his lips when she suddenly took his whole length in her mouth.

If her mouth wasn't so full, Harumi would have smiled at his intense reaction. She just let him feel her convulsing throat for a while and then moaned deeply as she pulled back up, just to add more vibrations. Without taking him out of her mouth, she swirled her tongue around the top of his as her left hand resumed to caress his shaft and the right hand moved to his balls, slowly massaging them.

"Harumi-" Once again his words surrendered to a moan, he moved his hands to her hair, surprising himself with how soft it felt.

Now Harumi was bobbing her head up and down on him and both of her hands were still working on it too. She looked up at him and those eyes made him shiver: he could see she was enjoying it as much as he was. That made him feel better about it. He relaxed - now voluntarily, not because a new peak of pleasure had the forced him to - and focused on how good it felt to have that warm, wet, mouth going down on him.

She take her mouth off him to speak: "You're a tough one. Most would have blown their load already."

"Yeah, I'm not even close yet." He lied.

"Really?" She asked with her eyebrow up. "Well, then I guess I'll have to work harder."

She started to lick him, starting from the underside of the head, then the sides of the length and the base, moving down to his testicles and then she licked her way back up to the tip. Harumi took a deep breath and resumed the sucking from the top, slowly pushing her head down, then slowly back up, going lower and lower with each move until she had him fully inside her mouth. Gaara groaned and tangled his fingers on her hair, pushing her impossibly lower. She allowed him to and choked a bit, but didn't pull back.

Gaara thought he was losing it. She had him on the edge: the indescribable feeling of her mouth and throat receiving him so tenderly was _almost_ too good. He was dying for her next move, next breath, next stroke, next _anything_ , but she just stayed put.

"Oh, God's sake, Harumi, _move_!" He finally begged.

He could feel her inner satisfaction grin as she pressed her lips tighter around his shaft and sucked deeply as she moved back up vigorously and Gaara felt like she was taking his soul within her lips. He leaned his head back, feeling his cum come out as violently as his orgasm, making him shut his eyes. Gaara was so lost in pleasure he didn't bother to take notice _where_ he was shooting his load until after he managed to reopen his eyes and saw Harumi swallow something.

"Oh, no, did I…? I'm sorry, spit it out!" He panicked.

She smiled. "Chill. It's already gone, look." She opened her empty mouth to prove it.

Gaara was so amazed and aroused by it that he just grabbed her and kissed her. Harumi kissed back immediately, taking his clothes off as he guided them to bed, when they sit on it, she broke the kiss.

"It seems I'm a bit overdressed to the occasion." She joked as she unclasped her bra.

The sight of her perfectly round boobs and perky nipples go up and down with each breath she took made his mouth water, but the immediacy of the moment had him asking:

"Harumi, are you sure you want to go through this freaky plan? We still can stop."

She smirked. "Are you kidding me? After spending ages giving you head you want me to call this off when I still get nothing? No way." She laid down on the bed and lift her hips a little. "Wanna do the honors?"

Gaara hooked his thumbs on the sides of her panties. _This is wrong. This is wrong. This is so wrong._ Those words were running around his mind like a mantra as he slid the last piece of clothing on their way off her body.

"Wow." Was all he had to say when he saw a woman fully naked for the first time. Every inch of her was so beautiful he thought he could spent the rest of the night staring at it that he wouldn't stop feel impressed.

But Harumi had better things planned. She put her hips down and spreaded her knees. "Come." She half-ordered, half-begged.

His body seemed to be moving on it's own to adjust himself between her legs, his boner that what building back ever since he watched her swallow his cum was now completely ready for another round and he couldn't help but run his hands through her legs, thighs, belly and breasts and feel delighted when she shivered.

"M-may I?" He asked, placing the tip on her entrance. _This is wrong_. _This is wrong. This is so wrong._

"Go ahead." She breathed.

 _This is wrong. This is so wrong._ "Okay."

 _This is wrong. This is so…_ His mind went blank when he pushed his whole length inside her. Harumi screamed and arched her back as she closed her eyes shut. Her walls squeezed him tight.

"Fuck!" He cursed, letting his body fall over hers. She put her arms around his back.

"You can move." She told him breathless.

Gaara pulled back a bit then pushed back in. Now her insides twitched. Loving the feeling, he did it again, pulling everything except the tip out then slamming hard inside her and she cried out again, squeezing him again. He repeated the move a few times, closing his eyes with pleasure and felt Harumi dig her nails on his back. When the scratches started to hurt a little too much, he forced his eyes open to look at her.

She wasn't panting nor moaning and Gaara didn't think she was even breathing. She had her eyes open and was staring at him with a gaze full of hatred. He stopped.

"Harumi, are you alright? As I thought, we shouldn't…" He started to take it out.

"No!" She screamed and wrapped her legs around him, slamming him back inside of her. "Just… take it slowly for a minute, okay?"

"Did I hurt you? I'm…"

"Don't ask, just do it!"

Gaara obeyed and resumed to the smaller and slower thrusts, much less aroused. Actually, if the feeling of her wasn't so absofuckinlutely great, that little episode would have completely turned him off.

"Oh, yes, that's it!" She sighed after a few thrusts. She slid her legs down, tangling them on his legs and giving him a new angle to press inside. Gaara's breathing started to get heavier and she was enjoyed the feeling of his hot breath on her neck and ear. When she heard him moan quietly, Harumi got goosebumps. She raised one leg higher. "Gaara-sama, no need to… ah… hold back a-anymore."

Encouraged by the puffy way she said and how she was allowing him deeper, he fasted up his speed, bracing himself on one arm he put in front of the leg of her that was lifted higher and placing his hand on the bed beside it. Her moans became more frequent and she reached out to his face to pull him to a heated kiss, but soon she had to take her lips away to talk:

"This is… hmm… Please, lift my other leg just like the-the other one." Gaara used his free hand to take her leg and put it up then he rested his hand in bed over her thigh. That made her completely exposed to his thrusts, letting him go so deep he worried he might hurt her, but Harumi was mess under him: she had her back arched a bit, head leaned backwards, eyes tightly closed as she moaned and dig her fingers on the sheets like she was holding onto her life. Besides, with every prod he could hear a lewd, slicky moist sound coming from her core, she was so wet that her juices were overflowing.

"Oh, fuck!" She cursed when he gave her a particularly powerful push, her hips were now arching too. "Yeah, that's…"

By now, her insides were convulsing and were so hot and slippery he was surprise his dick didn't melting inside her.

"This is amazing!" He panted as the feeling of being on the edge of something grand took over him once again. "Ha-Harumi, I'm close."

Harumi straightened her back and head and opened her eyes to look at him. Even in the middle of such an intense moment, Gaara noticed something: right then, when she was looking at him with the most pleasure drunk expression he had ever saw, as she moaned and swung her hips to meet his thrusts, she was totally and completely _alive_. She had no darkness, death, not even sarcasm on her eyes. That was the first pure look he had gotten from her ever since they met.

"I'm cumming too, Gaara-sama. Please, please, shoot it deep inside me, send me over the edge with you semem!" She said, lewdly. To ensure her words, she tightened her walls against the pulsing member inside her.

"Ah!" He gasped as he was milked out of his cum by her contractions. Before he completely lost the control of his actions, he gave her one last deep thrust making her cry out in ecstasy.

"Gaara-sama!" She screamed, lifting her whole torso to hug him and kiss **him.**

After the peaks of oxytocin and endorphins, Gaara got off her and laid on the bed beside her, basking on the afterglow. Both of them were panting heavily but Harumi was the first to recover. She leaned on a elbow to gaze at him.

"Your answer is…?"

"What?" Gaara couldn't actually remember what the hell she was talking about.

"Do we have a deal?" She inquired, narrowing her eyes.

He finally remembered. That was a trial: he was supposed to check if he would feel any guilt or regret afterward.

He gave it a thought. Nope, nothing but the feeling of wanting to take a nap.

"Yes," he answered her "we have a deal."

Harumi bit her lower lip and smiled. "Great. Well, see you later then." She got up from the bed and started to dress up.

Gaara lifted his head. "Are you leaving already? I really don't mind if you stay."

"Nah. I'm not really tired and I can see you're drowsy, so…" She shrugged.

"Well, okay then. Don't you wanna even use the shower?"

She chuckled. "I don't mind to reek of you for a bit as I walk to my room. So, bye."

"Bye." He watched as she walked to his door, opened it, went out and then closed it really quietly. He had never brought a girl home before, and he wondered what his servants would think if any of them spotted her and smiled.

He had many, many things he wanted to think our meditate about, but he was fast asleep before he could remember at least one of them.

* * *

Takeshi Rindou was crossing the boundary between the Country of Birds and the Country of Wind. As always, the cold that reached his skin only made him annoyed and reminded him of the blazing sun that would shine the next morning.

"God, I hate the desert." He sighed, pulling his scarf around his face.

But soon he started to feel something that made him forget his hate towards that land: a thrill running through his veins, a familiar tingling on his fingertips. He knew that feeling. He _missed_ that feeling.

And he had thought that he would never be able to experience it again.

He smiled under the scarf.

"Harumi, I'm here."


	4. Only fools rush in

When Gaara woke up the next morning, the first thing he felt was cold. Of course he would feel cold, he had slept naked and uncovered in a night of the desert, no wonder he now had a running nose.

The second thing he felt was hunger. But that was also normal.

He didn't know how he was expecting to feel after what happened, but he certainly didn't expected to feel so… average. Then a hint of guilt hit him. Not because he had done it with Harumi but because _he wasn't feeling_ guilty for doing it with her. A bit embarrassed for everything he did and said maybe, but not guilty. Actually, the thought of experiencing anything similar to that made him grin. Gaara got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom.

A few things were bothering him, though.

The first was that weird moment when Harumi gazed at him like she was trying to kill him with her eyes. He still wondered why that had happened.

It couldn't be that she actually hated him: a person would _not_ ask someone she hates to have sex with her. And he also knew it wasn't her first time and that she was enjoying at first, so it also couldn't be the pain that caused that expression. He wondered if could it be that she hated sex, but really enjoyed it anyway. That also made zero sense, but sounded a little less bad than the other theories.

Gaara had turned his shower on and was now letting the water run through his skin as he mulled over those things. The scratches on his back prickled. That was another strange thing: how had she managed to scrape his skin that easily? He knew his shield would protect even if he was busy with other things, but that time, it didn't. But in the end, he figured it didn't matter.

And the latent question he was trying to avoid: what he was going to do with her? He had focused his initial plans on getting closer to her. Check.

And now what?

Harumi had even promised she would cooperate with anything he asked, but he still couldn't think on _what_ to ask. Temari's advice was to make her feel useful. He had tried on the second phase of the Chunin Exams but he didn't like the result. He didn't want Harumi feeling so happy for being useful as a weapon. And what could he ask? He wasn't her boss and he couldn't use their deal to make her do more chores for him publically without raising suspicions. Specially when the activities of the Exams were on a break.

He still hadn't figured it out when he finished his shower and got dressed and still was thinking about it when he got to the dining room.

"Morning." A voice greeted.

Gaara almost jumped back. "Kankurou!"

"Hey." His brother said back, raising an eyebrow.

"You're here!"

"I live here."

"Yeah, you do." Gaara remembered. He looked at Kankurou for a while, expecting him to say something about what his little brother had done last night but he said nothing and just chuckled:

"You're weird today. Are you awake yet?"

"Probably not."

"So sit down and eat something, did you come back late from your date last night? I just crashed after I got home from work. I don't think I even ate."

Gaara repressed his sigh of relief. "It wasn't a date." He sat down and poured himself some tea.

"Yeah, right. Your 'friendly dinner' alone with a woman." He rolled his eyes.

"I don't remember what time I slept." Gaara answered anyway, purposely vague. Kankurou was satisfied.

"I have another long day today. This kids, I tell you, they never took their training so seriously, but now that the final test of the Chunin Exams is close…"

Gaara smiled. "Oh, yeah, all your students made it to the finals, right? Congrats."

Kankurou also smiled. "Thanks. But they really are putting me to work. I had never seen them so excited about something before. Then again, those kids who made it to the third phase really are something."

"I can imagine. I wish I could lend you a hand."

"It's cool. But if you make time, _do_ drop by. They'll wig out."

That gave Gaara an idea. "Actually, I might appear today… I think I have someone that can help you. I mean, if that's okay with you."

Kankurou nodded. "Oh, sure, any help is welcome. I want to be sure my students are well-prepared come what may." He got up. "I should get going, actually. You will find us on the training ground two."

"I'll go as soon as I contact her." Gaara answered.

Contacting her was pretty easy: he found Harumi buying a bag of peanuts on a vending machine on his way to the office.

"Good morning." He greeted, stopping behind her.

She looked at him over her shoulder. "Good morning, Gaara-sama."

"Are you busy right now? There's something I wanna ask."

She shoved a handful of peanuts on her mouth and shrugged. Gaara took that as a yes.

"Good, so come with me." He grabbed her wrist and started to guide her to the training ground were Kankurou said they would be, hearing the crunchy sound she was producing by chewing her peanuts. He gazed at her.

"What?" She asked - or at least, Gaara thought she asked.

"Is this your breakfast?" Harumi nodded. "The place you're staying is serving three meal per day, isn't it? So why…"

"I don't have much of an appetite in the morning." She answered. "Want some?"

Gaara shrugged. "Why not? Gimme."

Harumi was dropping a few peanuts on his hand when they heard:

"Kazekage-sama!"

They stopped. Matsuri was running towards them at full speed. Gaara let go of Harumi's wrist, earning a chuckle. The kunoichi of Suna frowned and looked confused when she reached them. The Kazekage greeted her:

"Matsuri, good morning. Need anything?"

The young lady bowed. "Kazekage-sama, Ki-san, good morning. I'm sorry for bothering you, but Baki-sama told me to look for you."

"Oh, is there any trouble?"

"No, it's just that it's past eight and you are not… there." Matsuri answered. "You normally is the first to get to your office so we thought that it was strange and I was sent to look for you."

Gaara felt a bit guilty. He hadn't warned any of his assistants that he would be late.

"I'm sorry for worrying you guys. I just have something to do with Ha… Ki-san and then I will be going. If there's anything urgent, just give me a call."

Matsuri just stood there looking at them. Harumi's brow went up, she had the poker face back on. Gaara was so used to seeing other expressions on her face by then that he found it weird.

"I… see. Okay. I will let them know. Thank you, Kazekage-sama." Matsuri turned away slowly and Gaara ate his peanuts as she was leaving.

Harumi eyed him skeptically. _What?_ He asked with his expression. "Are you so dorky that if you do get to your office by the sunrise people will start to freak out and think you're dead?"

Gaara swallowed the peanuts. "It's just unusual. And they do worry a lot even if the anti-Kazekage groups…"

" _The what_?"

"People who try to kill me because they wish a stronger Kazekage clan." Gaara explained as they resumed their walk.

Harumi shook her head, mortified. "Doesn't that mean that the rest of your family is in danger too? Shouldn't we warn the Seventh since Temari-san and Shikadai-kun live there in Konoha?"

"Naruto does know. All the Gokage know. We just don't go around spreading this sort of things because it's quite a local problem to be considered public interest and it wouldn't sound good for Suna politically to have everyone knowing we have such groups."

"So why are you telling me that?"

Gaara gave it a thought. "I don't know. You've seen me naked already, what's the point of keeping things for you?"

"Naïve. I keep things from you."

"Then maybe I should see you naked some more until you feel like you don't have to." Gaara answered and his face burned red the second before the words escaped his lips. Harumi chuckled and shook her head, but said nothing.

They were now going up the plateau where the training ground two was located.

"We're are in the middle of nowhere." Harumi stated. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

He smiled. "We are almost there."

A few steps after that, they reached the peak and saw Kankurou and his three students warming up.

"Kankurou, we're here!" Gaara announced. His brother and the three youngsters looked at them.

"What's happening?" Harumi whispered in urgent tone as they walked closer to the group.

Gaara was once more confused by her expression. This time she wasn't just cold, she seemed actually very displeased or even angry. He took a while to answer. "Hu… I want you to help my brother Kankurou with his students. They are preparing to the third round of the Exams, so I thought you should help with their training, since you must be quite free while we're awaiting the third phase."

She kept looking at him. "Is this just a request or a 'I'm using our deal' request?"

"Both of them."

She sighed. "I better some gourmet sex after that."

"Huh…"

"Hey! You came!" Kankurou greeted. They had finally reached them. "Let me introduce you, this is Gaara, the Fifth Kazekage, and this is Ki-san, she's from Konohagakure."

The only boy on the team frowned. "Why is she here, then? Is she spying on us?"

Kankurou noogied his head. "Shut up! Well, this little jerk here is Isao."

"'Sup!" Isao waved fastidiously and his teacher sighed.

"This cutesy girl here is Yuriko." A tiny brunette bowed to them. "And last not the least, there's Yumi." A tall black haired girl bowed her head a bit but didn't look up from her feet.

"Hello, everyone!" Gaara smiled. "So Ki-san will be…"

Harumi pulled Gaara don't a bit to whisper on his ear. "Don't leave me alone here."

The request had a pleading tone - implicit, but at the same time clear - so Gaara did not even think about refusing.

"Ki-san and I will be training with you guys."

"Wait a second, _you'll_ stay here? Gaara, I'm glad but I don't want you to go out of your way to…"

"It's alright, Kankurou." Gaara answered. "I don't have any meeting scheduled this week… At morning, at least… And there's no paperwork I should do now that I can't do later, so…" He let the phrase die and Harumi's expression softened a bit. Just then Gaara realized he was tensioning his muscles and was able to relax them. He looked at his brother. "So, what you have in mind?"

The puppet user smacked his lips as he gave it a thought. "Well, since we are in even number, we could simulate the Exam's tournament and fight against each other." Kankurou grinned to his students. "Not that I think that's possible for any of you win against me or Gaara, but you will certainly learn a lot by watching us spar."

Harumi's eyebrow went up to that statement. It hadn't gone unnoticed by her that he purposely had left her out of the undefeatable list.

They raffled the matches by a simple rock-paper-scissors. Harumi and Kakurou went first. Kankurou wouldn't be able to describe what happened in that match even if he tried. He remembered of walking with Harumi to the center of the plateau, taking a few steps away, looking at her and then he saw stars. When he came back to himself, she had him under her boots. Harumi offered him a cheeky smile and a hand to help him get up.

"That" he started, taking her hand "was not a very instructive duel."

Harumi nodded. "I know. It was just a payback for implying that I can be defeated by genins."

Gaara thought about chime in and say that he and Naruto were genins before they became Kages, so that didn't mean that Kankurou had implied that she could be defeated by a actually low level shinobi, but he gave up. Harumi would never buy it. And that phrasing sounded a bit cocky.

The next match was Yuriko against Yumi. When his teammates got up to get ready, Isao's jaw dropped. If Yuriko would fight Yumi, that could only mean…

"You'll actually have the chance to practice against the Kazekage." His sensei told him. "Make me proud, Isao."

Surprisingly, the duel between the two girls didn't last much more than the previous. Yuriko, who turned out to be a very capable taijutsu user, just had to use a couple of moves before Yumi gave up. While they were watching the fight, Harumi whispered to Gaara:

"You take part on the process of making the teams, right?" He nodded as an answer. "So why the hell you placed a girl with self-esteem problems on the same team that a cute, talented and charming girl? With a _man_ as her teacher, on top of it!"

"Huh…" Gaara was still looking for an answer when Yumi gave up.

"Come on, Yumi! You could put a little more of hard work in there, couldn't you?" Kankurou spoke. "You've sparred against Yuriko many times before, are you embarrassed because there's people watching? Whatcha gonna do on the Third Phase day, when you'll have a crowd?"

"I'm sorry." Yumi muttered, looking at her feet.

Harumi was looking at Gaara with a "I told you" face which he find both cute and _really_ annoying. He got up and invited Isao to join him in the center of the plateau.

Of course he held back as he was sparing the kid. He just limited to frustrate Isao's attacks and saw how the boy would adapt himself as the _status quo_ kept changing. The ability of doing that was what ensure the upperhand in a duel. Isao was above his expectations. Unlike Yuriko, who was clearly specializing herself on taijutsu, Isao was more like a jack-of-all-trades and learning from Kankurou had made him really good on dodge direct attacks. When he noticed the boy was getting too tired, Gaara just made the sand under his feet to suck Isao in to the level of the neck and then hold him tightly.

"That was awesome!" Isao stated, excited.

Gaara smiled as he released the jutsu and helped him out. "It's more an earth jutsu than a sand one. You can learn it, if you want." He turned to Harumi and Yuriko. "Now, who's next?"

Both Harumi and Yuriko played paper. Gaara didn't like the face the ANBU kunoichi showed when the result came out. It was very much like the one she had on when he asked her to help on the Second Phase. The two females walked to the mini-arena. Yuriko looked at Harumi with a smile.

"Let's work very hard, Ki-san." She said, but her smile wavered a bit when she noticed the mean smirk that Harumi had.

"Yeah, you don't want me to work very hard on this. So, come on, Yuriko-chan, give all you got."

Harumi didn't use her killer genjutsu and kept the duel on taijutsu. But you couldn't say she held back just because of that. Differently from Gaara, she attacked instead of just defending herself. Harumi moved exactly like an ANBU would: fast, precise and insistent onslaughts. She didn't make a single move that wasn't necessary. Not a single move that missed its target.

If she was holding back on something it would be the speed. But not much. She was giving Yuriko time to block a few hits but not enough time to counterattack. It was like she was trying to prove something. To whom was a mystery.

That question was answered on the second an awfully weary, dirty, sweaty Yuriko faited. Harumi held her before she hit the ground. Yumi looked up, finally showing her face. Her dark eyes were widened and her mouth was in the shape of an "o".

"You extenuated Yuriko-chan!" She stated in a very clear voice. "Not even Kankurou-sensei had done that before!"

Harumi smirked but said nothing, instead she started to treat Yuriko with medical ninjutsu. When the girl opened her eyes, she said:

"There you go. How are you feeling?"

Yuriko smiled. "I'm fine! Thanks, Ki-san! I've learned a lot about my weak spots."

"Glad I could help." She let go of Yuriko, who came back to her place beside Kankurou. Harumi turned to Gaara. As the Kazekage got up and started to move towards her, she raised a hand to stop him. "Actually, Gaara-sama, there's something I wanna show Yumi-chan before our fight. Can I?"

Gaara sat on the ground once again. "Sure, go ahead."

Harumi nodded and beckoned Yumi with her head. The young genin walked to Harumi with no hesitation.

"In the academy, you've learned about genjutsu, right?" Harumi asked, getting a nod for an answer. "And have you been practicing genjutsu with Kankurou-san and your team?"

"Not really. I'm no good with genjutsu."

The citizen of Konoha tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure? I feel a great potential coming from you."

"Really? But in order to use genjutsu you must make eye contact, right? And I really _can't_ do that." Yumi told her.

Harumi shook her head. "That's not very accurate. It's true that ocular genjutsu is the most easily executable type, but it's not the only way. In order to use genjutsu, you must control the chakra flow of your target's brain and to reach it, you can use any of the five senses you want. For example, right _now_ I've reached you friend Isao-kun by using my voice. Look."

Everyone - not just Yumi - turned to look. Isao was dozing off, a line of drool was running down his chin. Yumi chuckled.

"What are you showing him?"

"A conversation between us. Right now, to Isao, we're discussing how I casted a genjutsu on _Yuriko_."

"That's pretty much what it is happening, except that it's not… I see! You did that so he won't realize he's the stuck in your jutsu."

"That's right. A key to a good genjutsu is the likelihood."

The lesson went on for quite a while. Harumi showed Yumi how to properly use aural genjutsu and she took considerable time to learn it, but no one minded. Even Gaara and Kankurou were learning a lot from her, since genjutsu wasn't the strongest point of neither of them.

When Yumi finally managed to make Harumi see a cornfield instead of the desert, her instructor announced that was it for the day. Feeling pretty excited to spar against Harumi now, Gaara got up. Harumi opened her arms to invite him for battle on the same time his phone ringed. He picked it up with a sigh.

"Kazekage-sama, this is Baki."

"Oh, hey, Baki-san. I'm sorry for earlier. What's up?"

Back went straight to the point. "We have just received an urgent convocation to a video conference with all the Gokage in thirteen minutes."

So did Gaara. "I'm coming. Thank you." He turned off the phone and looked at Harumi with an apologetic look. "Something came up. I got to go."

"I see… We will finish our tournament another time then." Harumi said. "Good work today, everyone. Specially you, Yumi."

Isao frowned. "Why are you going to if just Godaime was called, Ki-san?"

Harumi shrugged. "Because I want to."

Gaara chuckled, then waved everyone goodbye and beckoned Harumi away.

 _Maybe_ nuts _isn't accurate either._ He thought to himself. Curently, he was working with _vixen_.

* * *

After the video conference, Gaara got really busy.

The urgent matter was that the Allied Shinobi Forces had to sent a large missionary platoon to the Country of Birds - where a dormant volcano had suddenly erupted, causing a huge catastrophe. As a result, the villages were a bit depleted of men, specially because another handful of shinobis were at Suna because of the Chunin Exams. The Mizukage and the Raikage voted for the suspension of the Exams, the Tsuchikage, the Kazekage and the Hokage motioned for keeping the Chunin Shiken, but anticipating the date of the third phase in two weeks.

As a result, Gaara had to work his ass off to rearrange everything and communicate everyone in time.

He had a lot of angry teachers to calm down - after all, the examinees that used to have a who have a whole month to get ready to the exams now had mere two weeks to train - and a lot of suppliers to contact and find a replacement for those who informed him they couldn't make it to the new day. A lot of formal invitations for the Daimyos to write. And, of course, the infinite chore of reallocating the staff on their respective tasks.

It was almost midnight when he finally was able to work on the paperwork he had planned to do on that day.

"Oh, great." He said sarcastically. "It's the time to check the balance sheets."

That had to be his least favorite duty as a Kage, what meant that if he didn't do it on the day he had planned to do it, he would never check those sheets until the very last day before the accountability, and he knew it was going to be terrible if that actually happened. Sighing, Gaara grabbed the first cardboard folder on the pile and started to work on it.

He wasn't done with the second folder when a voice asked:

"What in the world are you doing?" Harumi was sitting on his desk and had a folder on her hand, she was looking into it with a bored expression.

"Huh… Hey."

"Are these balance sheets? God, I hate those stuff." Harumi placed the folder back in the awfully big pile.

"We are both then." Gaara sighed. "Listen, Harumi, I know I was supposed to give you some… How did you phrased it?"

"Oh, yeah, my gourmet sex. Don't worry about it. I'm here because I want to see the infamous mission report." She told him.

Gaara straightened his back, feeling a bit dejected. "Oh. Right." He opened the file on his laptop and handed it to her. Because he had no illusions of working while she was there, the Kazekage also sat on the desk to look at the pictures with her.

Harumi ran her eyes through the text before going to the photographs. The very first one was a picture where Shikamaru had faired over her genjutsu.

Gaara dropped his head on his shoulder. "Did he really faint? To me it still seems like he was kissing your neck."

"He fell over my neck."

"Because of _genjutsu_?" He sounded more incredulous than he wanted.

Harumi sighed. "Why do men _never_ believe it at first?"

"Well, the main difference between genjutsu and ninjutsu is that genjutsu creates just illusions. If your jutsu produces a real result, like making one faint, it's ninjutsu."

Harumi shook her head. "Not if the real result was _caused_ by the illusion."

"And what illusion would be able to create such a result?"

She glanced at him and he felt it - no, actually he thought that he had felt it: a compressor pain on his head that made his mind go blank. He fell off the table.

"Wow." He said when he came back to his place and his senses.

The ANBU was looking to the picture where Gaara's brother-in-law was looking at Harumi's eyes while sheltering them from the sun. Now the Kazekage could see that this was what was going on, specially because he knew by then that Harumi's heterochromia was more noticeable in the dark. She tapped the button to go to the next image. The heartbreaking smile popped up in his notebook screen. Gaara watched the real Harumi's face for any reactions.

"Is this the picture where my 'old self' appears?" She asked with her eyebrows up. Gaara shook his head in agreement. "That's so silly! The subject made me happy and I smiled, what's the big deal?"

"What were you two talking about?"

Harumi placed her index finger on the screen over Shikamaru's face. "We were talking about Temari-san. His love for her is almost tangible." She took her finger off the screen and clicked the button again.

The next photo showed a blond woman with long hair and purple clothes holding a wooden chest to the camera. Chance had made the sun shine emphatically on the wedding ring she had on her left hand. To use her words, the pain that emanated from Harumi was almost tangible.

"This is Sai-sama's wife." She explained, even though it wasn't necessary. "On this very same day, she and their son went to pick Sai-sama up from work. They do that quite a lot, actually, but that time, I don't why, it really hurt me. I started to realize how pointless it is to be in love with Sai-sama when I am nothing but a subordinate to him."

Once again, Gaara felt like he should deny it and once again he reminded himself that he had no clue of what Sai's feelings were. So he decided to ask what was really bothering him:

"Why did you let yourself to fall so deeply for him, then? You could have stepped back once you learned he was married."

"I always knew he was married. But it didn't make a difference."

Gaara eyed her skeptically. "You're not going to say that the heart wants what the heart wants, right?"

She chuckled. "No. It's not like that. It's just that, to me, Sai-sama is… was…" She sighed and closed the laptop. "It doesn't matter."

Both of them got out of Gaara's desk. The Kazekage resumed his balance sheets checking. Harumi pulled a chair and sat down in other side of the desk. She pulled half of the pile of cardboard folders closer to her.

The young man raised his head to look at her. "What are you doing?"

"We have balances sheets back on ANBU too. I will help you"

"Why?" The question escaped his lips automatically.

"Is that a complaint?"

"Nope, please, do help me." Gaara answered, smiling.

Harumi rolled her eyes and they focused on those tiny numbers. Gaara kept the smile for the whole time they were working and he knew it wasn't because he was happy because Suna's financial situation was doing fine.

He wondered if he wasn't starting to like that little vixen a little more than he should.


	5. I can't quit you, baby

**A/N: Hello! A quick warning: this chapter contains adult scenes. Once again, the start and the ending of the smutty part is marked in bold.**

* * *

A particularly strong gust of wind ripped off from her hands the piece of clothing that Temari was placing on the clothesline. It was a green kimono that Gaara had given to her on her last birthday. She picked it up and successfully put it on the line. There was no wind now. That was odd. She kept staring at the kimono, lost in thoughts, until she heard her husband calling.

"Something is up with the clothes?" He asked, standing beside her and also turning his gaze to the clothesline.

"I'm thinking." She answered slowly. "Can I ask your most honest opinion about something? Please, tell me what you really think, okay? I won't be mad."

Shikamaru made his old meditative gesture. First, he needed to decide if Temari's proposition was a trap or not. No, that probably wasn't the case. Second, it was necessary to figure it out the extension of the "I won't be mad" assurance. He decided that his wife actually meant it, but there was no way she wouldn't be mad if he said something _too_ displeasing.

Okay, so his _modus operandi_ was going to be play it safe and just be honest insofar as he could be sure that Temari wouldn't be mad.

"Sure, go ahead." He agreed.

Temari wasn't oblivious to Shikamaru's inner deliberations and was tempted to pester him about it, but she let it pass.

"Do you really think that Harumi can be saved?" She asked.

Shikamaru relaxed. As serious as that matter was, if the subject was Harumi, that meant he wasn't in trouble. He gave the question a thought.

"Honestly, I don't know. I really _want_ her to be happy but I don't know if anyone but her can make that happen. I don't wanna sound like a corny self help book, but the only person who can make the decision of changing herself is Harumi." The Nara head exhaled all the air in his lungs. "And to tell you the truth, considering what we know about her past, I don't think she wants to get better."

"What person doesn't want to be happy?" Temari asked.

"A person whose road to happiness is way too painful." He replied. "Harumi is safer the way she is. Not happy, not really _alive_ , but she's safe."

Temari wrapped her arms around him and buried her face on his chest. He just held her and finger combed her hair.

"Do you think I should tell Gaara about her past? Let him know what he's in for." She asked, looking up at him from chest. Like that, Temari looked like a little child.

"Don't you think that would be meddling too much?"

"I hate when you answer my questions with another question. Specially such a good one." She sighed.

Shikamaru laughed shortly. "I'm sorry. But, don't you think so? Think about it. You asked Naruto to send Harumi as his representative, you asked her to hand Gaara that video, you told him that you would like him to help her… To tell your brother such an eery past just because _you_ think it _might_ be a problem for him would be to get ahead of yourself."

She pointed at the green kimono. "The wind made the kimono I get from Gaara fly away. _Just that kimono_. Doesn't it sound strange?"

"Let me guess: bad energies?" Shikamaru jested.

Temari let go of him to slap his arm lightly. "Don't mock me! I'm serious! I think Gaara is in trouble."

"Of course he is in trouble! He's trying to bring back to life a girl that has been wandering in darkness for ages and now, thanks to the anticipation of the final phase of the Chunin Shiken, he has just two weeks to do it." The playful smile he had on his face since he'd made the joke about energies vanished. "And we know how Gaara is, he will feel a personal hit when… if… he fails."

She hid her face under her hands. "I shouldn't have done that. I didn't think it through."

Shikamaru pulled her back to his arms. "Have a little faith on your brother."

Temari uncovered her face and pressed her lips together before saying. "I'm going over there."

"I was wrong." Shikamaru breathed. " _That_ would be meddling too much."

But Temari had made her mind and was already starting to walk toward the house to pack. "I don't care. I'm going. I must help: I can feel that Gaara is trouble."

* * *

Actually, as much as Gaara was concerned, Temari couldn't be more wrong.

Health-wise, Gaara was doing great. The cold he had catched for sleeping with no clothes was long gone and he was feeling incredibly rested and peart.

Work was also doing just fine: reorganizing the Exams was being way easier than he thought it would be and his ordinary duties as the Kazekage were perfectly on schedule. And for that he had to thank Harumi.

The young woman had adopted a routine for herself while she was there: she would wake up, go help Kankurou with the kid's training till dusk, then she would head to Konoha's accommodation in Suna, shower, get dressed and head to Gaara's office, where she helped him with his paperwork. After they were done, they would go to his bed to mingle their limbs.

The Fifth Kazekage was glad that Harumi was being able to train with Kankurou and the kids without him being around. He asked her about it one night while they were going through missions reports. She tilted her head to the side - a gesture that she did quite often and Gaara was starting to find incredibly cute - and then answered:

"I don't like kids in general. But those are okay."

"Why is that?"

"Why I don't like kids or why I'm okay with the Team D?" She straightened her head.

Team D was the one that Kankurou was instructing.

"I originally had thought on why you don't like kids but now I'm curious about both."

"Children are more perceptive and more inquisitive than adults. Bad combination for those who want to keep their distance from the world. But Kankurou thought those very well, none of them is interested in me as a person, just as a kunoichi."

Gaara dropped the file he was reading. "That sounds awful!"

Harumi grinned. "It's not. Trust me, being a good kunoichi is the only thing that I have left."

"Not true. I like you as a person."

"Yeah, but I can't go to bed with everyone."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't mean it like that! And don't drown in self-pity! I know you've taken a like of Yumi-chan and she likes you too."

"Actually, if I had to pick a favorite among those kids it would be Isao-kun, I just gave Yumi-chan a special help to make up for your big screw up on teaming her up with Yuriko-chan… Oh, this mission reporter spelled 'overwhelm' wrong."

The time they spent in his office was like killing two birds with one stone: not only he had an excellent helper and chatting with her made the work less tiring but Gaara was feeling like he was becoming really close to her. She still had him on a string and he was far from breaking in her walls, but he certainly was more than a stranger or just a fuck buddy for her now.

And there was no denial now that he had developed feelings for her, but those feeling were so new and so obviously unrequited that Gaara wasn't putting much thought to figure them out.

Gaara and Harumi had also become closer physically speaking.

The young man was really impressed with how creative Harumi was. By now, she had persuaded him to have sex with her on a chair, in his office, on a chair in his office, in the bathroom of the bar they first had dinner together and on the greenhouse. But it turned out that Gaara wasn't much of a sex adventurer, so they figured they should limit themselves to his bedroom. He got so worried that he may drop Harumi or someone might walk in that he almost - _almost_ \- couldn't focus on how good it feel.

The nights that followed their first were different from the initial. That time was pretty much shag and leave, but now, after they were done, Harumi would loiter there for a while as they talked about everything and nothing. She would leave by Gaara's first yawn. Other times they would take a bath together afterwards and she would head back after that.

It was what happened on the night of the same day that Temari had decided to travel to Suna.

 **Harumi** and Gaara were lying on his bathtub side by side. He had an arm around her and she was resting her head on his shoulder and had her eyes closed. When he moved his hand to stroke her cheek, Harumi opened them.

"Yosh, I'm good, let's go one more round."

Gaara pulled her to his lap. "Okay."

She chuckled and moved her hands to his nether parts. "Actually, I was joking when I said it, but now that I'm feeling how eager you are…" She wrapped her hand around his hardening member. "I'm getting really horny."

He tangled his fingers on her hair - that she had up in a bun - and pulled her head to kiss her hungrily, his hands traveled down her body to grab her perfectly shaped ass, digging his fingers on her flesh. She moaned on his lips.

"Gaara-sama," Harumi whispered in his ear "I don't mind if you're feeling more aggressive right now, but, if we are going to do it like that, can you please talk to me?"

That confused him a bit. "Are you asking me to… talk dirty to you?"

She ran a leg over his to face him directly. "Sort of, just say whatever comes to mind." She brought her lips closer to his. "When your lips weren't busy, of course."

Harumi resumed the kiss. On this position, the tip of his erection was touching her entrance, realizing that, she started grind her hips slowly, rubbing their intimate parts together. He growled into the kiss and moved his hands up to her waist then held her tightly as he got up, Harumi quickly wrapped her legs around his waist to keep herself from falling.

Never breaking the kiss, Gaara started to walk to his bed, what was quite a chore. They bumped into some furniture and he banged Harumi on the wall a few times, but they made it to the bed. When he threw her on the mattress, she said:

"We're still wet from the bath. We will wet the sheets."

He laid on top of her. "Right now, I couldn't care less about the sheets." He told her honestly.

He placed his lips on her again, but this time he chose to kiss her neck. Her delicious scent was so strong there that it was intoxicating. Gaara pulled her head to trail down soft, closed-mouth, kisses from the nape of her to her collarbone, then he moved up to her jugular with firmer kisses, now opening his mouth but still not touching her with his tongue. He nibbled her earlobe lightly:

"How come you smell so great?" He whispered.

Harumi didn't answer, she just leaned her head to the opposite side, offering him the side of her neck to explore. Gaara placed the tip of his tongue on the small space behind her ear and she shivered, he felt her hands travel up from his back to his hair, pressing his head closer to her. Encouraged by her reaction, the Kazekage kissed down the side of her neck, licking the bathwater that still remained there. Now he didn't stop at the collarbone, going south on her body till his lips captured her pink, perky left nipple. He teased it with his tongue a bit then moved to the other one, his hands replacing his lips on the left.

She moaned when he caressed her right nipple with his teeth. Gaara sucked both of her breasts quickly before pulling away. He massaged those beautiful mounds, feeling delighted with that warmth on his hands.

"Talk!" She remembered him, breathless.

"Huh…" Gaara searched for words. Harumi had asked to talk whatever he had in mind, she never told him what to do if he wasn't thinking. "I was never breastfed."

Harumi giggled. "Man, that was a turn on." She arched her back to get her upper body closer to him. "Shut up and kiss me."

He was more than glad to do so. One of his hands went to the small of her back to support her and the other one kept fondling her breasts. Harumi smirked on his lips and broke the kiss to talk:

"You're not getting enough of them today, are you?"

Gaara was planning to answer, but any rational thought was swept away from his mind when he felt one of her hands around his cock. Because she knew his sensitive spots better than himself, she placed her thumb right on the sweet spot on the underside of the head while the other fingers were circumscribing the shaft. He grunted and grabbed her breasts harder in response. The sexy smirk was renewed.

"Alright, alright. Let me give you something good, then." Harumi got up and kneeled on the floor, then she pulled him and made him sit on the edge of the bed, with her between his legs. "I don't always do this, so you should really feel flattered."

When she started to lick his dick all over, Gaara wondered if Harumi was being sarcastic. Not to brag, but she would give him head quite often. He watched her spit on his cock and spread her saliva on it with a few hand strokes and waited for her warm mouth to envelop him. But that didn't happen.

Harumi pulled herself closer to him, so her breasts were touching his erection and placed his penis carefully in between her boobs. Gaara frowned. He tried to talk on the same moment she pressed them tight against him.

"Harumi, wha… Wow, that feels great!"

Her moist lips produced a cute sound between a chuckle and a moan. "To think you actually love tits so much… Perv."

Harumi started to move her boobs up and down his length, still pressing them tightly around him. Gaara let his upper body fall back on the bed with the nice feeling of having such a soft, warm and delicious part of her body to touch him like that, but he braced himself on his elbows to keep his head up to look at her. The sight was as great as the feeling - or maybe even better. Normally, Harumi was already sexy as hell, but when she had her cheeks colored in pink and her eyes shining with lust while they watched closely the tip of his cock to come in and out from the slit between her marvelous breasts… He would ooze precum just by seeing it.

When she noticed the transparent liquid coming out from his dick, Harumi stretched out her tongue to lick it. Gaara trembled softly. Not resisting his reactions, she started to suck the head of his cock, without stop moving her boobs.

Animal instinct took over him when he felt her mouth around him. Gaara sat up again, pulled her to crush her lips with his and then threw her back back in bed.

"I thought we'd agreed that I would lead." He said, kneeling on the bed beside her.

Harumi opened her arms and straightened her legs, offering herself to him. "Be my guest. I won't get in the way this time."

Considering how close to the edge she had him, Gaara decided it would be good have a few minutes to calm himself down and took his time just watching her. He caressed every inch of her body with his eyes before turning his gaze to her face and give her his verdict:

"You are so hot that you could singe my eyeballs."

She chuckled and bit her lower lip. "Don't just keep staring, touch me."

The man complied, starting with her hair. He tangled his fingers on the cupreous locks, releasing them from the messy bun, then moved to her face, fondling her cheek then her chin with the back of his hand, when he got to her mouth, Harumi took his index finger in and sucked it. Gaara pulled it out and moved his hands to her neck.

"What did you say about not getting in the way?"

"Then do me already, your fucking tease!" She complained.

"Patience. It's fun to have _you_ under _my_ thumb for a change."

His hand traveled down her body, only lightly touching it. When he finally got to her entrance, he slid a finger in briefly, just to see if she was wet and if she would shiver. Double check.

Gaara spreaded her knees carefully, then ran his hands down to her inner thighs. The skin there was also incredibly smooth and felt nice to touch, so he decided to plant soft kisses on that area, everywhere except for the place she was dying for him to touch.

It was too much to his little vixen. Harumi grunted and raised her head to face him. When she talked, her tone was both hoarse and demanding:

"Gaara-sama, fuck me now or I will rape you!"

He allowed himself to laugh and raised his hands in surrender. "Hai, hai!" And it wasn't like he could wait much longer himself.

Very used to this by then, Gaara kneeled on the bed between her legs, already sliding his hands on her thighs to put her legs up. As soon as she supported her outstretched legs on his shoulders, he guided the tip of his manhood to her slit and thrust right in. Harumi arched her back and let out a big moan.

"You feel amazing." He told her.

Harumi was too pleasure drunk to answer, so she rocked her hips against him to get more of that feeling. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You really can't" he grabbed her legs again and joined them, pushing them to the side "just _stay still_ , can you?"

Now he turned her upper body around in such a way she had her face on the mattress, always slamming his dick inside her.

"On your fours, chop-chop." He commanded, taking it out of her.

Harumi did as she was told, but looked over her shoulder. Gaara noticed the angry gleam on her eyes once again.

"It's okay." She told him when she saw him hesitate. "I'm loving it, just… Talk to me."

He gulped and nodded. All the hesitation flew out the window when he saw her juices ran down her thighs from her completely exposed womanhood. He rushed to take place behind her and, once he got there, he positioned his erection on her opening.

"Harumi, I'm putting it back in."

"Please, do." She sighed.

He slid himself inside her very carefully, enjoying every inch of the way until he was completely in.

"God, Harumi, you're so tight." He through gritted teeth. He began to thrust, liking how much control that position gave him as he angled his lunges to find the spot inside her that always made her mew. He knew he got it right when she screamed and dropped her face on the sheets, because her arms just wouldn't have strength.

It was always a major turn on when she reacted like that.

He fastened up his pace, slamming it maybe a bit too forcefully inside her but there was no way he could hold back when Harumi would cry out from pleasure and grind her hips lustfully with every thrust. Gaara placed his hands on her waist and remembered he was supposed to talk to her.

"I could come just by hearing your moans." He confessed.

She turned her head to show him her lewdest look and her sexiest grin.

"And by looking at that face." He added.

Harumi reached out and he leaned in to kiss the lips she was offering him. Because he was afraid of crushing her with his weight, he braced himself on one arm and wrapped the other around her waist, then he straightened his back, pulling her up with him as he did, until he was sitting on his heels and had Harumi sitting on his lap, her knees on the bed on each side of his thighs. She put her arms back and grabbed his hips to brace herself.

That new position didn't allow the vigorous prods the doggy-style did, but that way it was much easier to kiss and touch her, also, he could see her face and breath in her scent while her walls squeezed him tightly, like they didn't want him to get out. A sweat drop ran down his back, giving him an idea to his "dirty talk":

"We might have to take another bath after this."

The cute half-moan, half-chuckle was back. "Shut up."

"But you told me to talk."

"I've never done it like this before and like this I can see your face, so it isn't necessary." She said in between gasps.

Gaara didn't get why one thing had to do with the other, but, then again, he had better things to focus on.

He moved his hands from where they were - Harumi's waist - to her hands on his hips, taking them off.

"Hold on." He whispered to her just before he laid down on bed and stretched his legs, still having Harumi on his lap and still buried inside her.

If she hadn't released him from the talking, he would say that he wished he had done a warm-up first.

She looked over her shoulder to meet his gaze.

"Giving up on the leading thing?" She teased, moving her legs to the side, so she was sitting on him perpendicularly.

"Tomorrow is a workday, so I thought I should share the job with you and save my energies."

Harumi rolled her eyes and giggled, then she placed one hand on his thigh and the other on his waist. Supporting herself on her hands and feet, that she had placed flat on the bed, she started to ride him vigorously.

They both moaned at the same time.

Once again, the view was amazing. Gaara hardly had the opportunity to look at her from that angle, even though it was a shame that he could see her face completely, like that he could take a good look on her curves and observe completely the elegant moves she did as she impaled herself on him again and again.

"You're throbbing." Harumi commented, breathless. "Am I making you feel that good?"

"You always are."

She slammed herself on him on that position strongly one more time and then moved one of her legs to the other side of his body so she was facing him and boosted up the pace of her moves, putting her hands on his chest for support. It got even better: now he could see her sultry face, he could watch her lovely breasts jiggle up and down and he could see his length come and go from her insides.

It was a sight too tempting for him to keep his hands of. He grabbed her thighs and started to meet her moves with a grind. The cute little sound she was produced got stuck on her throat and Gaara felt her walls squeeze him tighter. She was close. He moved his hands to her hips to impale her on him more intensely and kept shoving it inside her from below. Harumi dive in to give him a strong bite on the shoulder.

"Gaara-sama, so good… I'm cumming." She announced when she straightened her back.

"I know. Cum for me, Harumi. Cum to me and I'll give it to you, as well."

He felt the ecstasy pervade her body, making her insides twitch and her back arch. The intensity of her orgasm had him cumming almost simultaneously, he barely had the time to take it out before his spunk came out. As soon as he did take it out, Harumi rushed to take him in her mouth and drinking his load directly. He felt like all his energy was being shot out his body with his semen and when they were done, he was already **drowsy**.

She laid down beside him.

"Talk." She commanded.

Too sleepy and pleasure drunk to measure his words, Gaara told her the only thing he had in mind:

"I love you."

Harumi sat back up to glare at him. " _What?!_ '

But he was already asleep.

* * *

"Good morning, Gaara-sama." A very pissed Harumi spoke when Gaara woke up the next morning.

"Good morning." He yawned, oblivious to her anger. Gaara sat up and put his feet on the floor and then turned his head to look to his interlocutor.

She was sitting on his armchair, fully dressed on the denim shorts and the white T-shirt she had worn on the night before, and she had her legs and arms tightly crossed as she stared at him, fuming.

"You've stayed the night." He realized.

"I had to. We have to talk about what you said to me last night."

"Huh..." Gaara tried to remember.

"'I love you'?"

For a second, he thought she was confessing to him and his heart stopped, but then he realized she was just quoting him and he had palpitations. His could feel his face burn and he couldn't stand her look, so he dropped his gaze to the mattress. He remembered it now. He had confessed to her and then he was out like a light.

"Did you mean it?" She inquired.

Because he felt too embarrassed to talk, Gaara just nodded. Harumi sighed and uncrossed her legs, her expression softened.

"I'm just going to stay here for another week, then I'll go back to Konoha." She reminded him.

"I know that."

"I don't intend to come back here or keep in touch with you, Gaara-sama."

"I know that."

"And I assume you also know that I don't and I don't want to correspond your feelings."

That hurt a little bit. "Yes, I know." He looked at her. "I didn't plan it. But it is impossible to spend so much time with someone like you and don't fall in love. I'm sorry."

"So, you're breaking our deal?"

That startled him. "Wait, no, why would I do that?!" It was his turn to sigh. "Look, this changes nothing. Yes, I love you, but it's not like I'm waiting for you to love me back. Actually, I didn't even plan to confess, I've just said it in the spur of the moment. I'm still willing to help you and I'm still willing to sleep with you whenever you want. The deal is still on: you keep on helping the kids to practice and I keep on having sex with you. We can just forget what I've said to you last night. Is that fine with you?"

Harumi tilted her head on her usual gesture. "It _is_ fine with me, but isn't that a bit cruel to you? Can you really keep on being my sex friend when you have feelings for me?"

Gaara shrugged. "I will never see you again after the Chunin Exams are over anyway, so why shouldn't I enjoy the time I have till then the fullest?"

She got up and walked to his window, opening it. "Okay, then. I'll turn a blind eye to those words. Please refrain yourself from saying them again."

Gaara chuckled. "Thanks, I will."

She winked at him and flew out of the window. Gaara left the bed and went to his shower, ready to start another regular day.

* * *

"So, that's how it is…" Takeshi mumbled to himself, repressing a smirk. The strong ninja presence he was feeling was getting closer and closer. She was in a rush.

He laid his head back and close his eyes.

Showtime.


	6. My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

Temari only slowed down her when her pace when she saw the gates of Sunagakure. A grain of sand hit her eye and she removed it, skillfully. She smiled. Man, she missed that place. But right now, she didn't have the time to feel nostalgic. Her chest felt oddly tight and she was sure that the wind was trying to give her message: the only time she had felt such a feeling was when Gaara was been kidnaped by Akatsuki.

But looking at the gates, she didn't spot anything unusual. Well, except from a man fallen on the sand. Reaching out with her chakra, she made sure that he didn't have any killer intentions and just then she approached him:

"Sir, is everything alright?"

He didn't answer. Temari checked his heartbeating and his breathing. He was alive, just unconscious and he had the skin patched and the tan of someone who has been walking under the sun for too long. Heat stroke and dehydration. It happened a lot around there and Suna's hospital would make him better in no time.

She grabbed the man and took him with her to Suna. The guards recognized her immediately. One of them came to see her.

"Temari-sama, welcome back!" He bowed his head. "Is the Kazekage-sama awaiting?"

"No, I just wanted to make a quick visit… Listen, this gentleman is unconscious and probably dehydrated. Can you take him to the hospital, please? As for me, I'll look my brothers by myself."

The guard put the man on his back to carry him. "As you with, Temari-sama. The Kazekage-sama is on his office and I heard Kankurou-sama is on the training ground two with his students."

She smiled at him. "Thank you. I'll go meet them."

The blond headed to the training ground two, deciding it would be better to talk to Kankurou before barging in her baby brother's office asking if he was alright. Kankurou could fill her in. When she got there, she found him alone with a black haired little girl, who was doing the hand seal of the horse, while Karasu was moving towards her.

"Kankurou!" She called.

Both of them stopped what they were doing. Her brother smiled.

"Hey, Temari! Long time no see!" He greeted, making a few hand seals to stock Karasu back on his scroll. "This is Yumi, a student of mine."

Yumi bowed her head. "Temari-sama, is a honor."

"Nice to meet you too, Yumi-chan. I'm sorry for interrupting your training."

The girl turned back to her sensei. "Kankurou-sensei, should I go practice with the others?"

"Yeah, sure. They are working on their genjutsu skills, but you go and ask Ki-san if she can help you with your infighting abilities, since your level on genjutsu is already so ahead of theirs." Kankurou petted her hair and the girl smiled and bowed again to Temari before leaving.

Kankurou chuckled as he watched her go away. "I'm still amazed with her progress… One week ago, she wouldn't even look me in the eye." He sighed. "But let's not beat around the bush: what's up, Temari? You seem concerned. You can tell me about it on our way to the city."

They started to walk. Because Temari kept quiet, Kankurou encouraged:

"So? Speak up."

"Huh…"

"Is there something wrong with Shikadai? Do you need me to punch your husband?"

"No!" She chuckled. "Everything is fine back home, I'm the one who might have messed up. I will explain everything to you, but, first I need to make a few questions, okay?"

"Well, I'm confused, but, go ahead."

"Is everything alright with Gaara?"

The puppeteer smirked. "Ohoho, he's more than fine."

"What do you mean?" Temari asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He's gotten really _close_ to a kunoichi from Konoha's ANBU. The one that came here as the Hokage's representative."

Temari wasn't sure if that was good or bad news. "Oh, did he say anything to you about Harumi?"

"Harumi? Is that Ki's real name?"

Oh, yeah. She had forgotten about the code names. But then she remembered that Kankurou had just mentioned that name.

"Wait a second, didn't you just send your student to someone named Ki?"

"Yeah, Gaara asked her to help me with my student's training. Ki-sa… I mean, Harumi-san is doing a great job. I'm sure they all going to rock on the third phase."

Temari nodded. "I see. So that's his strategy." She sighed in relief. "Good, I was so worried, but everything seems under control."

"Good, good. Now, explanations, please?"

Feeling calmer now, Temari laughed and hugged her brother's arm. "I'm sorry. I was just freaking out because I asked Gaara a favor that he might not be able to accomplish. I was worried he might be taking it too seriously."

Kankurou frowned. "And what Ki-san has to do with that?"

"Huh, well, let's see… If you had to describe her in a sentence, what'd you say?"

"Well, she's… a very talented professional."

"Right, but I meant as a person."

He gave in. "A heartless bitch."

Temari nodded. "Yeah, so I thought that maybe Gaara could, you know, make her see the light, since she sort of remind me the past him. But I just influenced him to do it for the sake of the conscience, because I'm not really sure that anyone can save Harumi from the darkness she sank herself in."

"So you were afraid that Gaara might get too attached _to Ki-san_?"

Temari didn't like the expression on her brother's face. "Yes. Why?"

Kankurou stopped and held his sister's shoulders. "As I've just said, he's been awfully close to her lately."

"I remember. So?"

"Temari, I'm completely sure that Gaara is getting it on with her."

Her jaw dropped. "No! Kankurou!" She shrugged his hands away. "Why did you let him do that?! That girl is a hot mess! She's trouble!"

Temari knew she was being unreasonable, but, when he dropped the bomb, the guilt hit her so hard that she just had to share it with someone.

Kankurou snorted. "Do you think he asked for my permission?! He didn't even tell me he's doing her, I just know he is. You're the one who told a healthy, single, young man to babysit an equally healthy, single and hot as hell woman!"

Hope filled her again. "But you might be wrong, right? After all, it's the Mr. Goddy-two-shoes Gaara we're talking about! I can't picture him having sex with a girl he met a week ago, can you?"

"Actually, yes. Have you even taken a good look on her?"

Temari looked up to the sky to think rationally. There was no clouds and the sun shone like ember. She took a deep breath.

"Let's not jump to conclusions. I need to talk to him. If he has gotten close enough to Harumi for you to think they are doing it, even if they aren't, he needs a warn. I came here to tell him the truth about her, after all."

"The truth about her?"

Temari ignored the inquire. "I'm going to have a chat with him now." She resumed the walk, but now her steps were a lot faster. She turned her head to look at her brother over her shoulder. "Kankurou, you may go back for your students."

"What? No way, I'm coming with you." He rushed to follow her.

"This has nothing to do with you."

"I'm Kazekage's personal bodyguard and his brother. If he's in trouble, I _must_ be well-informed about it."

Temari couldn't argue with that, so they kept the rushed pace till they got to Suna's main building. They took the familiar path through the hallways to Gaara's office, where they found their baby brother in a middle of a meeting with one of the suppliers for the Chunin Exams. The Kazekage turned his gaze quickly to his siblings and a small smile appeared on his lips for a brief moment. He made them a small gesture telling them to hang on. Temari and Kankurou nodded and leaned on the wall as they were waiting. For the look of things, the middle-aged woman was the supplier of wine and was checking with Gaara the personal preferences of each Daimyo.

That was an important task. No one wanted one of the Daimyo's without their favorites wines on an event.

Temari used the time to take a good look on her brother. He looked okay. She didn't know what she was expecting, though. Maybe signs of a STD? But he was doing fine and maybe she was worrying for nothing, after all.

When he was done with the wine lady, he smiled at his sister.

"Temari! What a nice surprise! What brings you here?"

"Well, I…" She sat on the chair in front of his desk. "I thought it should be time to tell you all I know about Harumi. I think it isn't fair to throw you to the wolves without letting you know exactly what you're in for."

"But first," Kankurou said from his spot on the wall "I need to have a question cleared up. You're totally bedding her, right?"

Gaara's faced burned in bright red. As far she could remember, she had never seen her baby brother blushing.

"Ha! Told ya, Temari!" Kankurou stated. "Now, we can go back to the important things."

Temari sighed. "Gaara, is that true? Are you and Harumi together?"

Gaara looked down at his desk and started to ran awkwardly his fingers through it to avoid his sister's concerned glance. "It's true that we sleep together, but we're not really together."

"So you two are… friends with benefits, or something like that?"

"Guess you could say so."

Temari leaned over the desk to meet his gaze. "And how did that happen? You never had shown any intimate interest in anyone before."

Gaara put his head up to allow his sister to sit straight. "I don't know it either. It's just that Harumi is different from everyone else. She moves my heart."

"And your groin." Kankurou spoke, already laughing from his own joke.

"Shut up!" Temari hissed. Then she turned to Gaara: "Please don't tell me you've fallen for her."

The blush was back.

"Oh, Gaara!" Temari buried her face on her hands.

"Temari, it's okay. I'm pretty aware that it's an unrequited love and I'm okay with it. Really."

"No one can be okay with having their heart broken, Gaara."

"I am. I'm the one who broke our rule and fell in love with her."

Temari didn't understand what he mean by that, but she decided it wasn't important.

"Okay, that makes even more urgent to tell you what happened with her. What made her the way she is now"

"Oh, I already know. The thing about Sai-san, right?"

The blond smiled sadly. "Do you think Sai is the reason she let her heart froze?"

"Well, isn't him?"

Now she gave a sad chuckle. "No, not at all. I would rather say that Sai was the reason why she had been so happy these eight years."

Gaara frowned. "What do you mean?"

Temari leaned back on the chair and studied him. "What do you know about Harumi's past?"

He gave it a thought, even if Temari's behavior was giving him the creeps. Different from him, Harumi didn't speak much of herself to him. Occasionally, she would comment something about herself and her past if the subject allowed, but that was it.

"She told me she was homeschooled and the only institutional education she had came from ANBU. Also, both of her parents are deceased. I guess that's it."

His sister nodded slowly. "Did she never tell you _why_ she was homeschooled and why it was decided that she should join ANBU?"

Gaara shook his head and Temari smiled satisfied.

"So sit back, 'cuz here comes a long story."

"Well, many years ago, Konoha had a very skilled offensive genjutsu user, a kunoichi called Fuyuko Rindou. By that way, that's Harumi's last name, Rindou. She was a beauty too, so of course she had a huge line of gentlemen trying to win her over, but then, one day, she married a foreigner that no one ever heard of and vanished. Konoha didn't receive news from her for years and not even her closest friends could tell where she was and what she was doing, until one day, ten years after the last time someone had seen her, a note was sent to Konoha. It had just a single word on it, written in blood: HELP.

"Of course, the Godaime Hokage had it tested and Fuyuko Rindou's DNA was identified on that blood. She immediately sent a patrol to look for her around the city, but no signs of her were found. The note had nothing else that could help to find its sender, so she was forced to give up. Not long after that, Fuyuko's body was found in buried in the woods. She had eighteen stabbing wounds, one of her eyes had been plucked out and her left hand had the ring finger missing. Later the lad found out that she had older injuries that indicated that she had been living a life of abuse for years before she was killed. There was still no clues about the assassin.

Temari gave it a break to let it sink.

"A few years later… I was already living in Konoha by then…, there was another clue: another note was sent, the same 'HELP' written in blood, but this time the sender attached a blue leaf on it. You see, on the Eastern Country of Fire, there's a huge cloth manufacturer. They are known for using hexacyanoferrate on their products, do you know what that is?"

Gaara nodded. "Yes, it's a blue pigment that sometimes can create cyanide on its production."

"Precisely, that's why there isn't many people living around that area. The environment is so contaminated that a few trees started to produce blue leafs."

"That's how the place from where the sender was coming was identified." Gaara realized.

Temari nodded. "But the sender couldn't be the same since Fuyuko Rindou was long dead. So once again the blood was tested and it was found out that the sender was Fuyuko's child, so of course Konoha sent an ANBU patrol to the East to look for the child. Sai was on that team. It was his first mission after he became the commander and he was the one who found the cabin in the woods, made of rotten wood. When he got inside of it, he saw a man lying in a pool of blood in the floor and a naked teenage girl curling up in a ball against the wall. She was holding a bloody and rusted kunai on her hand and the only liquid that was running down her face was the blood coming from a deep wound on her forehead. Sai got closer to her and she raised her eyes to him. There was no fear in them, just resignation.

"'Hi, I'm Sai. I'm here to help you.' He told her. The girl said nothing. 'Are you Fuyuko Rindou's daughter, the one who sent that note to Konohagakure?' She nodded. 'Where is your father?' She pointed to the body with the kunai. 'Did he hurt you?' Another nod. 'What's your name?'

'Harumi.' She told him.

'What a pretty name your mother have given you! How is it written?'

'I don't know.'

'Well, let's see… Your mother has 'winter' on her name and 'spring' is what comes after the winter and I've heard she was a beautiful woman, so let's spell your name with 'spring' and 'beauty', as tribute for your mother. What do you think?'

Harumi smiled. 'I like it.'"

The fan user pressed her lips together. "After that, Sai took Harumi to Konoha. He found out she was versed on ninja arts and very skilled. And because all she had been through and because Sai was the only person she would talk to in the beginning, it was decided he would take her under his wing on ANBU. It was proven a great choice, because Harumi turned out to be every bit of the genjutsu user her mother was and she learned fast, climbing up positions on ANBU to the point she became Sai's right-arm and everyone was sure she would be chosen as the next commander, but then… everything collapsed. Sai and Harumi had a huge fight and the quality of her work dropped, the way she looked at things changed too and she pushed everyone away and become the half-alive person you know."

"She and Sai had a fight? So he did reject her, after all?"

"Actually, he… Wait, didn't you say she told you about Sai?"

"She told she is in love with him but she figured it was pointless since he was married, but she didn't say anything about fighting with him, that's why she's been down."

"That was not what happened at all!" Temari schoughed. "Otherwise, why would I ask _you_ to fix a broken heart?"

That was a good question. Temari took a deep breath.

"It's much more complicated than that. Sure, Harumi is in love with Sai. Everyone knows it, even him. And she knows that he knows. She always had been aware, as well, that he's married. But she was happy as long as she could stay by his side as a subordinate. But then, last month…"

"Oh, she murdered her teammates in order to complete a mission, right? Naruto told me about it."

"Yes." Sadness overtook Temari's face. "It was awful. You see, Shikamaru's clan… Well, it's my clan too now… Has a deep tradition with two other clans, the Akimichi and the Yamanaka. Sai married into the Yamanaka clan, and he has a soon named Inojin, who is Shikadai's best friend. One month ago, Shikadai and Inojin were playing alone on a playground. I don't know why, they favorite playground is the most secluded from downtown, it's near the place where the Uchiha clan was decimated, so no one goes there much. Bad memories or energies to everyone. That's why Inojin got suspicious when three adults, two man and one woman, approached them. He just had time to tell Shikadai to run before they attacked them.

Temari gulped.

"Shikadai escaped but Inojin didn't. He was kidnapped by those people. My son ran non-stop to the Hokage's office, Shikamaru was there. He told me that Shikadai was pale like death and tears were running down his face, he was spitting out the words in such a rush it was hard to understand what he was saying but then Ino and Sai burt in the office. Ino had received a mental calling from Inojin telling her he had been taken by three mean people who were actually trying to take Shikadai.

She smiled sadly once again, but now it wasn't the condescending sadness from before.

"He figured their intention out, told Shikadai to run and used the _henge no jutsu_ to deceive them, saving my son's life. An eight-years old kid, isn't that amazing?" She sighed. "When he heard that, Shikadai immediately tried to run to find them and surrender to save Inojin, but Shikamaru stopped him with his shadows. He told him he would be more useful if he let Ino to look into his mind to identify the kidnappers. The Hokage ordered him to do so and told Sai to designate a four-men team to track down and arrest the kidnappers and rescue Inojin. Sai chose Harumi's team and they departed right away.

"It wasn't a problem to track them down. But it turns out the kidnappers had figured out that Inojin wasn't who they had thought he was and that he had contacted Konoha for help, so they set a trap. They set bombs on their chests connected to a tracking device they made Inojin swallow and each one of them had a kunai pressed against their own throats. One of the kidnappers had some weird life-connecting jutsu. She linked their lives to the lives of three of the shinobis from Konoha. If Inojin was taken more than 10 feet away from them, the bombs would explode, killing them and those under the effect of that woman's jutsu.

Gaara could see how the story would end, but Temari kept going anyway:

"The kidnappers proposed a deal: since the leader of the rescue team wasn't under the effect of the jutsu, she could go back and bring Shikadai to them. Once they had him, they would set everyone free. One false move, and they would thrust those kunais on their throats. If they tried anything to take Inojin away, the six of them would die. Scylla and Charybdis, huh? What would you do?"

The Kazekage had already thinked about it.

"Take a step. Pretend to accept their deal and go back to Konoha for back up. Shikamaru-nii to stop them from killing themselves and Ino-san to get inside the mind of the woman with the life-connecting jutsu to stop it."

"Yes. And Harumi herself said she did think about doing that, but she chose 'the safest option'." Temari shook her head in disapproval. "If you ask Inojin about it, he'll tell you he heard the ANBU woman with the rabbit mask to call his name then his father appeared, nuzzled him in his arms and told him to sleep. Well, at least she kept the kid from getting a huge trauma."

The kunoichi got up and walked to one of Gaara's many windows.

"When Harumi came back alone with his son and that awful report, Sai was just… enraged. 'As a father,' he told her, 'I'm glad you managed to bring my boy back to me alive, but as your boss… I'm disgruntled. You're a failure.' And it was snowball from there. Harumi always had a murder rate a bit higher than the rest, but that was because she took more missions than everyone else, but ever since she lost her post as apple of Sai's eyes… Twenty-one bodies in less than a month it's a number that speaks for itself."

"So that's why you thought Gaara could help." Kankurou finally spoke. "You think she's taking consolation on killing people, just like he did back then."

Temari nodded.

"Had Harumi ever said something about what happened to her mother?" Gaara asked, turning his chair to look at his sister.

"She did talk about it with Sai, but we found out most things about her past through the Interrogation Force. They've spent a whole day inside her head when she was brought to Konoha… Well, Harumi was the one who killed Fuyuko. Her father made her do it. He was a very bad person who dealt with people trafficking and prostitution. Our guess it's that Fuyuko married him because she was trying to stop him, but he was a talented shinobi, according to Harumi's memory, and subdued her. He would also use her body to make money. When the age and the years of abuse started to make her unable to make profit, that awful man threatened their daughter to kill her and started to use _Harumi's_ body to make a living. Fuyukos dying actions were to write that note and tell Harumi to send it to her hometown. After putting up with almost seven years of abuse, Harumi sent a note of her own and killed her father with the same kunai she used to take the life of her mother."

Gaara was mortified. He didn't know if the feeling he had was pity, anger, sadness or a mix of all of them.

Temari came back to the place in front of his desk and grabbed his hands.

"Gaara, now you know everything I know about Harumi. I've told you before pushing you towards helping her, I'm sorry. And I never thought you'd think her problems is a broken heart, so I couldn't foresee you two would become so _intimate_ , but, still, I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong to manipulate you like that. I also want you to know that it's okay to give up. Probably no one can fix Harumi but herself, so…"

He pressed her hands tighter. "It's okay, Temari. You've done nothing wrong. I don't want to give up. I promised Naruto I would give my best to help her. What you've just told me and the fact that I love her just make me more eager to do so and now I can relate to her situation a lot more. Don't worry, I can do this."

"And if having her to help me with the Team D is part of your plan, I must say it seems to be working. The effect she had on them it's remarkable." Kankurou added.

"How did you manage to convince her to do it?" Temari asked. "I've heard she's not fond of kids."

Gaara didn't want to explain his siblings his and Harumi's inappropriate pact but wasn't able to come up with a good story, so he ended up blushing again and stuttering something unintelligible. Kankurou got it and started to laugh.

"Oh-ho, I see! You're paying her with your body!" He gave Gaara a thumbs up. "There you go, you dog!"

Temari eyed him. "Geez, Kankurou, would you stop? It's a serious matter!"

"I know that! But, come on, Temari! Gaara is a grown man! If he says he's okay with having unrequited feeling for his sex friend, then I trust him. I can't see Ki-san as a threat and I believe in his, both as a human being and a shinobi, to pull this out. Why can't you do the same?"

"Because being a grown man doesn't make him immune to suffering!"

"Harumi won't hurt me." Gaara stated, unconsciously placing a hand over the place she had sank her teeth on the night before. "If you must know, I've already told her my feelings, she have rejected them already and I am completely okay with that. I see no reason to go back on my word."

Temari pulled her hands away. "I see. Very well, then. I will trust your strength." She got up. "I should get going. I just wanted to let you know everything and see how you two were doing." She kissed Gaara's and Kankurou's cheeks. "No need to see me out. I'll see you guys next week, on the third phase. We're all coming! Bye!"

And she left. The two younger brothers exchanged a look.

"She's really letting it go, right?" Gaara asked.

His brother scoffed. "No way in hell she is."

* * *

They were right. On the way back, Temari already took out her phone to call the only person she could ask for advice, her husband. Shikamaru answered on the first ring and she filled him in.

"So what do I do now?" She asked once she had finished the report.

"How about staying true to your words and _trust your brother_?"

"I trust him! It's just that he never felt the pain of a heartbreak, he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into! I need to fix the mess I've made but I don't know how."

On the other side of the line, Shikamaru felt tempted to say he also had no idea and hang up the phone.

He didn't want to get involved in that.

If Temari had asked for his opinion when she started to plan all that, he would have told her to not to go through with it. Sure, he knew from where his wife was coming: she had a best friend wallowing in guilt and a brother who had been through something similar to what was happening to Harumi.

But still, it was too much trouble and too much meddling for an one in a million chance of Gaara actually touching Harumi's frozen heart.

Now he wanted _even less_ to get involved, because it would mean to butt in on his brother-in-law's love life, and that felt just _wrong_. Besides, it wasn't his area. He almost told Temari to ask Sai about it, but then he remembered Sai was the reason why she had came up with such a preposterous plan in first place.

He gave the question a thought for a second. _Crap, I have an idea._

And he didn't like it: the only way of saving Gaara from being devastated by not being to able to help Harumi was by breaking his heart.

One more time, he considered lying and tell Temari he couldn't help. But there was no way he could do that to her. Temari felt personally responsible for both of her younger brothers. And more than that, she felt responsible for anything concerning Gaara and Harumi. For Temari, she was the one who made him feel the urge to help the ginger haired. Sure, that was questionable, after all, all she did was to give them a chance meeting and to make sure the Kazekage would notice her. Everything else had happened by chance. But Temari was anything but self-indulgent. She would never forgive herself if anything happened to Gaara because of her plan.

Pondering everything, his love and loyalty towards Temari weighed more than his care and respect for Gaara. The shadow user sighed.

"Well, you're right. Gaara can tell how hard will be to lose Harumi because he never was never in love before and even if she already rejected him, of course it won't make a difference to him because, as far as he is concerned, he _is_ the person Harumi is closer to and they even have sex, so it's as good as she had accepted him."

"Exactly!"

"So, the only thing you can do is make him realize he is not the one she feels closest to."

Temari got his point. "Oh, my God. Do you really think that is the only solution?"

"You can't manipulate his feelings, Temari. You can only let him have a taste of the pain is waiting for him in case he doesn't reach his goal."

Temari pressed her phone tighter. He was right.

"I see. I will talk to Sai once I get home."


	7. You never really can fix a heart

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Happy new year! Here's my last update of 2015!**

 **: Thank you! Here's the update!**

 **gaarahugger: IKR! He's so innocent about these things! Well, tell me your thoughts on this chapter as well later ;)  
**

* * *

On the day of the third phase of the Chunin Exams, Gaara woke up and, without opening his eyes, rolled over bed to get out of it, but he hit on something warm.

"Ouch!" The warm thing complained, also waking up.

Gaara opened his eyes to find a very sleepy Harumi lying by his side on the bed.

"Harumi, you've slept over!" He pointed out, surprised.

"Yeah, actually, this is the first time I've slept a whole night since… ever." She got up and stretched up. "Weird."

Gaara also got out of bed. "Did I wear you out last night?"

She smiled. Harumi would smile quite often now. It wasn't the smile she showed on that infamous picture, but still...

"Dream on!" She scoffed, dressing her underwear on.

"Hey, don't you wanna stay for breakfast already?" He invited.

"No, thanks." She was already zipping her pants. "Hokage-sama will be here in no time. I'm supposed to be his escort. I should shower and get dressed in my work clothes before he gets here. Besides, I want to meet with Team D to wish them good luck and say goodbye before the Exams."

"Oh, how are they? Do you think they'll make it?"

"I definitely think they will do great on their matches, but the one who must decide if they are ready or not to be chunins it's you, Gaara-sama."

Gaara chuckled and looked out the window. "So, this time by tomorrow, you'll be heading home."

"Yes. Finally."

"Harumi, today, after the Exams and the party afterwards are over, can I meet you one more time? There's something I want to show you."

Harumi knitted one eyebrow. "You know you have don't have credits with me anymore, right?"

"Yes, I know. This is an offer that you can refuse."

She shrugged. "Sure, I guess. I can do that as a way of thanking you for your efforts." Harumi finished putting her clothes. "I'm going, then. Cya."

"Yeah." Gaara answered casually, on his way to the bathroom.

Harumi walked towards the backdoor through the long hallways that she was starting to know so well. Once she stepped out the house, she clapped her hands twice. No reason why.

She frowned. Weird.

The kunoichi flew to her accommodation, showered and get dressed quickly on her work clothes, saving the mask for the last. It had been a while since the last time she had worn it and oddly, instead of the comfy feeling that adornment used to give her, she felt a little claustrophobic.

"Watermelon." She said. Again without a reason. Maybe sleeping so much when her body wasn't used to it was making her brain go crazy.

No time to investigate that, though.

Harumi went out to meet Isao, Yumi and Yuriko. All of them seemed quite confident. Even Yumi. She wished them good luck and told them it was a pleasure to meet and train with them. They thanked "Ki-sensei" for the teaching. And then Isao stated that she looked spooky with that mask. She chuckled and petted his head.

After that, Harumi headed to Suna's main gate to wait for Naruto. She hadn't been waiting for five minutes when she spotted three adult silhouettes: a blond woman, sided by a man who had a strange bulk on his back and a man in the Kage's formal attire. That made her wonder if Gaara would also wear _his_ formal attire. And _that_ made her wonder why the hell she was thinking about him.

"Hokage-sama, welcome." She greeted them with a bow when they crossed the entrance. "I hope you had a pleasant trip."

"Thanks, Harumi." The Hokage smiled. "Hey, it's okay to drop your mask, if you want."

Harumi pressed it tighter against her face. "I think it's best to keep it while I'm escorting you, Hokage-sama."

"'Sup, Harumi." Shikamaru greeted. The kunoichi then noticed that the strange bulk he had on his back was his son, who was fast asleep.

She bowed again. "Hello, Shikamaru-san, Temari-san." And then she turned back to Naruto. "Hokage-sama, I'm supposed to take you to the waiting room where the Hidden Villages are gathering."

"Oh, no. Was I the last one to get here?"

"No. From the Five Great Country, only the Fourth Tsuchikage is there. Oh, and the Hoshikage, from Hoshigakure, says he's an old acquaintance and wants to see you, Hokage-sama."

"Sumaru is here already? Great! Let's go, Harumi! Shikamaru, after the third phase, you, me and Harumi should get together to decide the which genins will make it. You two are discharged. Enjoy the Exams!"

Harumi spent the rest of the morning standing still behind Naruto. That was nice. It had also been a while since she had the opportunity of doing what an ANBU did best: mix with the furniture. No one paid her much attention. Well, at least until Gaara got there a few minutes before one p.m., and waved at her. She had to bite her lower lip to keep herself from cracking up. Naïve.

"Hello, everyone. I am sorry to have kept you waiting. I am sure you all heard this from your representatives, but all the genins who made this far did a great job. We all have reasons to be proud, regardless what happen today." He bowed his head. "Thank you very much from taking part on this Chunin Exams and I hope you all enjoy yourselves on the time you spend here. Now, if you may follow this hallway, it will take you to our places on the bleachers."

All the leaders got up and started to head out. The Hokage stayed back.

Naruto walked to Gaara and gave him a slap on his back. "Chill, Gaara, why you're being so formal?"

"Huh…"

There was a knock on the door, interrupting him. Harumi's heart stopped and then restarted its beats three times faster. It was Sai.

"Hello!" He greeted with his nice smile. "I'm sorry to come here unauthorized, but I was told Harumi would be here. I really must to talk to her."

Naruto was the first one to react. "Oh, okay. You want us to leave you two alone?"

Sai got in the waiting room. "There's no need, but, Harumi, can you take off the mask, please?"

Because she couldn't talk, the kunoichi limited herself to do what he'd asked.

Her expression startled Gaara. By now, he thought he had seen all the faces that the post-heartbreak Harumi was able to make. He was dead wrong. Now Harumi had a frail gleam on her eyes, her lips were a bit spreaded and she would gulp occasionally. She was looking at her boss like she was expecting him to punch her and she couldn't do anything about it.

He had never seen her look so vulnerable.

"Sai-sama…" She almost whispered. "You forgot to add the '-san', Ino-sama will be mad."

"I'm not worried about Ino, now. This is about you and me."

"Huh, Sai, _are you sure_ you don't want us to leave?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

"Yes. I'll be done in a moment." The ANBU commander said. "Harumi, I've been thinking about what I said to you after you rescued Inojin and I see now that I was very unfair with you."

"Of course not! I'm the one who screwed up!"

"It doesn't matter. I went too far. I took out the anger and the frustration I was feeling as a father and as an commander on you. Yes, you made the wrong choice, but that doesn't make you a failure. You're not to blame for what happened with Keito-kun and the others. Those cruel terrorists are."

Harumi hid her face on her hands. "I knew I could contact Konoha for back up, but I was just so _scared_ for Inojin-kun. I was afraid if I made him think I was going to exchange him for Shikadai-kun he might did something to himself, so I… I'm sorry, Sai-sama."

Sai shook his head. "I'm your boss and your trainer. Your failures are, above all, _my_ failures and for that I…" He kneeled on the floor and bowed his head.

Harumi immediately threw herself on the floor to try to push him up. "Sai-sama, please stop that! Get up!"

"I'm really sorry, Harumi." He proclaimed.

"Sai-sama, please, get up, I don't deserve…"

"I'm not getting up until you grant me your forgiveness." The artist stated with a serious face.

Harumi threw her arms around him. "Of course I forgive you, Sai-sama. I've never blamed you in first place. Now, _please, get up_."

Once both of them were on their feet, Sai pulled his subordinate to another hug, but then he pushed her away. He petted her shoulder apologetically.

"Okay, _now_ Ino will be mad."

Harumi chuckled, but that small laugh wasn't enough to express the happiness she was feeling. She laughed. A pure, clear, long beautiful laugh. It was such a contagious laugh that made Sai and Naruto laugh too. Gaara couldn't. He was too busy being mesmerized by this new face of Harumi Rindou.

No, it wasn't the smile she gave to Shikamaru on that mission the most beautiful and lively expression she could have.

The way her eyes were shining and the way her soft lips were opening to show those white teeth was too gracious and too unique to be called just a smile. It was indeed a very exclusive expression…

 _That only Sai can make her do._

It doesn't matter. It was a beautiful sight.

 _Ain't for you._

And he didn't care. He always knew Sai was the one Harumi loved.

 _Did you really?_

A displeasant, hurtful feeling took over his chest. Now he knew the pain of bites, scratches and hair pulling, but those couldn't even compare with the one he was feeling now.

Looking at Harumi's smiling picture had always made his heart feel warm. Why did seeing it live was making his heart freeze?

* * *

With that kind of gloomy thoughts, Gaara wasn't able to pay the final phase the attention it deserved. He did his job and made an extra effort to watch the matches of Suna's examinees, but that was it. The excitement he was feeling about the event was gone.

But he did feel especially proud when watching his brother's students in action.

Kankurou was right: the impact Harumi had on them was tangible. In two weeks they had upgraded to a whole new level. Isao even made it to the finals. He was definitely becoming a chunin. Gaara still had to discuss Yumi and Yuriko's situation with Kankurou and his assistants, but Sunagakure could use a fearless and witty chunin like Isao.

He learned fast, too: his finisher jutsu was to trap his last opponent - a kunoichi of Yu, at least five years older than him - on the earth beneath her feet up to the neck.

The crowd went wild and the Kages exchanged a relieved look. A Chunin Shiken that ended safely was always a reason to celebrate. After that, the leaders met with their advisers to decide which genins would be promoted, then they would announce it and then there was the closing party.

Suna got five new chunin. Isao was the only one of Team D that made it. His name had been the only unanimity. Yuriko's name had came up too, but Gaara vetoed it for two reasons: first, he thought the girl could use some more time to get even better and try again next time, and second, promoting Yuriko and leaving Yumi behind would be a hit far too strong to the self-esteem of a girl that just had started to accept herself.

And it turned out that from the 160 examinees that started the Exams, only 26, among all the eight attendees Hidden Villages, had actually managed to be promoted.

Gaara had managed to keep Harumi off his mind in the meeting - mainly because she wasn't around -, but once the closing party started and his meticulous planning had everything going smoothly - letting him with no work to think about -, his eyes spotted his beloved. She was flanking Naruto and was looking to the opposite side of the room, where Sai and Temari were chatting lively. He couldn't see her expression since she had the rabbit mask on and he wondered if she was smiling.

Why was Sai there, anyway? Sure it was important to make up with his subordinate, but why couldn't he wait until she got home?

Gaara took another look on his sister and her pale friend. Temari seemed to realize it and suddenly she seemed… guilty.

Oh. So that's what it. Temari had talked Sai into doing that, guessing that seeing the way Harumi reacted to him would get Gaara real. And then, after tasting the pain that meddling with Harumi meant, he would decide that stepping back from his pledge was the best thing to do.

Well, the first step of his sister's scheme was complete. Gaara could imagine now how he would feel if he didn't succeed on helping Harumi.

Being jealous - because he knew now that this was the name of the sensation he was feeling - was already bad by itself, but the pain, the terrible freezing feeling of knowing, and more than that, seeing right before his eyes, that Harumi's heart didn't belong to him and that she _didn't want to_ give her heart to him.

Yes, she had said that to him after he told her his feelings, but Temari was right. He wasn't okay with having his heart broken. He just didn't felt the rejection then, but now…

"Gaara, are you okay?" Kankurou asked, tapping his shoulder. "You're sort of giving a creepy vibe."

"Oh? I'm sorry." Gaara wasn't sure that was the best answer, but it was the only one he could come up with.

"Are you okay?" His brother repeated.

"Yeah. I'm just… I'm going to take a stroll."

"I'm coming with you."

"I'll make it quick, Kankurou. Thank you, but I want to be alone."

Gaara left the building and let his feet decide where he'd go.

As he walked, he remembered his uncle Yashamaru. He remembered what he uncle once said about the wounds of the heart: _Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal._

The only remedy for heart wounds came from another person. He said. And that remedy was love.

Gaara tried to picture how would be to discover he had failed on bringing Harumi back to life. He tried to imagine how much would hurt him to know he was incapable of healing the person that mattered the most to him. Based on his recent discoveries about how bad Harumi was able to hurt him with just a smile, he figured he would need a gallons and gallons of love to mend _those_ wounds.

And he wasn't a fool. He knew himself. It had taken him twenty-eight years to find a person who piqued his love interest. Harumi was the only one he'd ever loved as a woman and he had no reason to believe he could find another.

No, he would never recover from that blow.

It definitely would be the best for him to give up on helping Harumi. Yes, he would lose the one he loved anyway, but that would happen regardless he accomplished his goal or not. If he did give up on her, all he would have to deal with was a heartbreak, if he didn't, he would have a heartbreak _and_ a terrible delusion _and_ a feeling of impotence.

As Temari had said, he wasn't immune to suffering. Gaara had spent years fighting his demons - both figuratively and literally - and was finally able to stand tall, totally at peace with his past and with his old sorrows properly healed. He didn't want to go through all that pain again.

The rational choice was to wash his hands of Harumi and gather strength to get over this fruitless love for her.

He closed his eyes and flashes of her time with her popped up one after another, as if the insides of his eyelids were screens for a slideshow. The sarcastic grin she had on the first time she took off her mask, the way she smiled evilly at him when he asked her to help on the second phase, the pure and beautiful expression she would show on they had sex, the shining exclusive smile she had after Sai apologized… In the end, he loved every single of those faces. He loved all of Harumi's facet. Even the ones he didn't know.

More picture came up. Those were created by his imagination.

A sixteen-years-old Harumi putting all of her hopes on a note and a leaf she was sending to her mother's hometown before going back home to her abusive father.

A nine-years-old Harumi dying a little inside with every thrust of her kunai into her mother. What face had she made when Fuyuko Rindou finally died? Was Harumi the one who buried her?

A twenty-four-years old Harumi going back to her empty home in Konoha, devastated, after being told by her boss, the man she had up in a pedestal, told her she was a failure, after having the last precious thing she had left taken away from her.

Gaara teared up. He wasn't the only one with painful memories and, unlike him, Harumi didn't have a chance to heal yet. Could he really let the woman he loved go like this, without giving his best at showing her the silver lining?

He couldn't call himself a man or a shinobi if he gave up on her just because he was afraid of the pain.

"And, objectively speaking," he spoke to himself "I have more chances to get better than she does."

That was right. He had a family, friends and village that respected him. Harumi was alone and didn't even know how lost she was.

 _And more than that_ , he thought, _to fix Harumi's heart is more important than keeping mine from being broken._

Resolute, the Kazekage nodded and came back to the party.

He would see it to its ends. He would spend every minute of the time he had left trying to reach her heart.


	8. Bleeding love

**A/N: Hello, boys and girls around the world! Smut ahead alert! First and last words of the dirty scene are maked, like always.**

 **Enjoy your reading!**

* * *

All solemnities, tributes, feast and so on were done by midnight. After that, the dance floor was open and the lights were replaced by a mirror ball and neon lights. Which meant that all the Kages that weren't quite partier - read: Gaara - could retreat themselves. Before leaving, Gaara slipped Harumi a note saying he would wait for her on the terrace. He was read to wait quite a long time, since Naruto was enjoying himself on the dance floor, but he hadn't been there for ten minutes when a rabbit-masked ANBU appeared crouching on the battlement.

"Boo!" Harumi said, taking off her mask.

"Oh, hey! Did Naruto go to bed already?"

"Yes." Harumi repressed a laugh. "Hokage-sama hit his head on the chandelier and fainted. Shikamaru-san said he would keep an eye on him."

"What? Is he alright?"

She jumped off the battlement to the floor. "Yes, I took him to bed and healed his head bump."

"Ah, I wanted to ask you this before: you're also a medical ninja?"

"Nah, I just can treat minor injuries." Harumi tilted her head to the side. "So, what are we going to do?"

"There's somewhere I want to take you." Gaara jumped to the rooftop of the next building and turned back to look at her. "Let's go?"

She narrowed her eyes before following him. "It's better not be the greenhouse to see cacti or I will end up jumping your bones again."

They flew through the roofs until they reached a mountainous party of the village where there were no buildings. Gaara guided her to the top of a dune, where they stopped.

"We're in the middle of nowhere." The kunoichi stated. "Did you bring me here to get rid of me?"

"No." He laughed.

"Oh, so are we finally fighting the battle we were supposed to that time we were training with the kids?"

"Actually, that's my plan B. If nothing else works, I'm going to punch some sense into you."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "So, what's up?"

"What's you nindou?"

"Huh?"

"Mine used to be _to fight only for yourself, love only yourself_. I was feeling alone. And that how I was supposed to feel... You wasn't living in the ninja world by the time when the tailed beasts were sealed in little kids, but have you ever heard about it?"

Harumi nodded. "I've heard about your story, too, Gaara-sama. You are quite a legend. You are amazing."

Gaara tried not to get flustered with the compliment and keep focused. "Well, I certainly didn't feel amazing back then. My father had the One Tail sealed on me because he hoped I'd become Suna's greatest weapon and he had a very… twisted way of showing his care about me. His and my mother's true feeling finally reached me, but for most of my life, I believed that I was the one who killed my mother and that she'd died hating me."

He looked at her.

"And because she thought I could relate with your pain better than others, Temari thought would do you good spent time with me."

Harumi expression remained unchanged. "I see… So she didn't snitched my name, she let you know on purpose. Did she ask you to 'help me' too?"

"No, she _wanted_ me to do so, but she didn't ask. I decided to help you on my own." He breathed in deeply. "And… remember that time she visited last week?" A nod. "She told about your past that day."

There wasn't any change on her face again, but this time Gaara saw a shadow cross her eyes.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner."

"No, it's okay. I'm not mad. It's not like I try to keep my past a secret." She gave an apologetic smile and then sighed. "But I don't agree with Temari-san. You and I are nothing alike." She sat down on the sand.

Gaara walked to her and sat beside her. "Why you say so?"

"You've said you were told you had killed your mother. I _know_ I'm the one who did so." Harumi took out a kunai of her pocked. "With eighteen stabs of one of these. And, unlike Gaara-sama, I can't think my mother hates me." She looked at him with those fathomless eyes, filled with an overpowering pain that made him ache to the bone. "She… my mom… every time my kunai dig into her flesh, instead of screaming, she would say: 'It's okay, Haru. I love you beyond words.' _Every. Single. Time._ And I wish really bad that she hadn't done so, because there is no one in this world that deserves being hated by their mother than me."

She wasn't crying, but that didn't make her pain less tangible. Quite the opposite. It was evident that the guilt she was carrying hurt her so deep that it couldn't be expressed by tears. Gaara gulped the lump in his throat.

"But your father made you do it, didn't he?"

Harumi shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I was the one who allowed him to control me." Another dark emotion took over her face. Hate. "Of course it was safest to use me to get rid of my mom. He was never a match for her, but mom would never hurt me."

"Why did you mother run away with your father? If he was such a bad man…"

"That wasn't what happened." She sighed. "I guess Temari-san wouldn't know the whole story since I've asked the Sixth and Sai-sama to keep a few things off the official documents to protect mom's memory. Ha, in the end protecting her image was the only good thing I ever did to my mom."

Harumi looked into his eyes. "Takeshi Rindou."

"Who?"

"That was the name of my father. And he and mom were never married, so it wasn't like he'd taken my mom's last name."

Gaara frowned. "Were they… related, somehow?"

She nodded. "He was my mother's younger brother. He ran away from home when he was ten and meddled with an organization that trafficked people for prostitution. He was very capable on overwhelm people's free will, so he did well on that job. When he heard that his older sister had become a talented genjutsu user, he thought they could use her and went back to Konoha to meet her. He told mom he was in trouble and of course she followed him." She gulped. "Then he used her jutsu on her to make her his servant. She didn't run away, she was kidnapped."

Harumi curled up in a ball and supported her head on her knees.

"Not much time after that, Takeshi got intrigued by the idea of how strong would be a child with his and my mom's blood. It would be the lineage of the Rindou enhanced to the fullest. Hence, he… raped... my mother, again and again, until she got pregnant with me. Some children that come from incestuous relationships develops quite serious genetic abnormalities, from baldness to syndromes, I should say I got lucky for only having heterochromia.

"And my birth was just misfortune to my mom: eventually she started to develop resistance against Takeshi's jutsu, but she couldn't run away because she wasn't strong enough to protect both of us and she had no idea where we were living and for how long we would have to walk until we reached civilization, that's why she started my ninja training, hoping that I would become strong enough to protect myself in case anything happened with her. I had already mastered A-ranked jutsus when I was nine. I remember that day very clearly. We were training and I had my mother under a genjutsu. Takeshi approached me and said: 'Very well, Harumi. I could never trap that bitch on a genjutsu. You really are more talented than her. That's good. I have no more use for that old whore anymore now that you can take her place. Kill her, please.' He handed me a kunai and went away. He didn't threatened me, he didn't scream, he didn't even _ordered_ me to kill her, but I did it anyway: I stepped closer to my mom, wielded the kunai and thrust it in her shoulder, then again on her chest, then on her belly, then… She kept saying that it was okay and that she loved me, but I didn't want that. Mom didn't want me from the beginning, I was nothing but a burden to her and I even took away her life.

Harumi voice cracked up on the ending, she closed her eyes and sighed. Because he didn't know what to do or say, Gaara just waited her to keep going. She didn't take long.

"Takeshi wasn't joking when he said I would take her place. He started to make me do the job that used to be my mom's: capture and punish prisoners who tried to escape. He found out I was more efficient than my mother on doing that, especially because I didn't resist him the way my mother used to do." She turned her gaze to Gaara. "What do you think that a depraved, vile man who was obsessed with himself and his gens would conclude?"

The answer made Gaara clench his jaw and fist his hands with anger.

"You were better because you had more of his genes. If he produced a child with _you_ , his own daughter and nephew, he might achieve perfect copy of himself. And then he started to force himself on you."

The kunoichi confirmed with her head.

"As soon my body became able to bear children. Thankfully, I never did. But still, I started to think that, if I had his baby, my story would end up just like my mom's: I would be stuck with him till the moment he decided that I wasn't necessary anymore and then I'd be killed. It was that thought, not the desire to be free, not the desire of getting away from that awful man, but the sole fear of dying that made me write to Konoha and kill Takeshi Rindou. So, no, Gaara-sama, you and I were different from the beginning: even now, when I'm seem to be dying like you said, I could never have a nindou like to fight only for myself and love only myself and that's because when I look in the mirror, I feel a lot of things, but I can guarantee that love ain't one of them."

Now the tears were running down, but on Gaara's face. He couldn't stop himself and threw his arms around her to hug her. And she hugged him back.

"Harumi, can I ask you something that has been bothering me?"

She nodded. Gaara looked for words for a moment then asked:

"When we have sex, sometimes you looked at me like… well, like you hated the hell out of me. I started to notice that you would do that when you couldn't see my face and, on our first time, you showed that hatred look when I was being too rough. Has that anything to do what Takeshi Rindou did to you?"

Harumi gave a shy half smile. "Very perspicacious of you, Gaara-sama. Yes, it has. The memory of his… attacks… are like a curse. I'll think of him every time someone does anything similar to what he used to do to me. I think it does get better with time, though. I am okay with doing a lot of things with you when I used to loathe just the thought of doing those same things with other guys." She sighed and disentangled herself from his arms gently. "Now, can I confess something that I have never admitted to anyone else before, not even myself?"

Gaara tilted his head, just like she used to do. "And why would you confess it to me?"

She chuckled nervously. Gaara couldn't help but feel nervous in anticipation, unable to imagine what could waver her cool like that.

"'I don't know.'" Harumi answered. "'You've seen me naked already. What's the point of keeping things from you?'"

He laughed, even in that eery situation. "Well said. Go ahead."

She breathed deeply then shifted to face him directly. The Kazekage almost shivered with the intensity in her eyes.

"I liked it." She said, as if every word was a poisoned thorn. "Every time Takeshi Rindou forced himself on me… I've _enjoyed_ it. _I let myself appreciate being fucked by force by a man who did the same to my mother._ "

Gaara closed his eyes. The remorse, the pain, the _guilty_ on Harumi's words were too heavy.

"I am a shameless, slutty, traitor." She added, digging her nails in the soft skin of her palms.

He took her hands in his, reopening them and massaging the sore palms.

"Harumi, listen to me." She turned her pained gaze at him. " _That is not true_. You went through an unimaginably horrible experience. Even if the man that put you into that didn't posses a ninjutsu capable of controlling your mind enough to make you kill you mother, it would be completely understandable if your brain had tried to make the whole thing feel a little bit better for you. The fact that you took pleasure in that is either the effect of a jutsu or mere survival."

Her half smile was a lot more honest and relaxed now. "Gaara-sama, you're a wonderful person. Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it." She didn't even give him time to blush before adding: "But I still don't get why we had to come here. It has a nice view, though."

They both turned to look that sea of sand stretching as far as the eyes could see and the full moon shining gloriously on the night sky, painting everything in shades of bluish silver.

Gaara smiled. "It was right here that I found my new nindou and my new goal in life: _to become someone who is needed, instead of a weapon that is feared_. Naruto had showed me that I could take all the pain and sadness I had and use it to become whoever I wanted. He made me realize me that, if the world despises me and shuts me away, instead of feeling myself with hate and resignation, I could work hard and show the world I was someone people could create bonds with."

He turned his head to her.

"You were right when you say that you and I are different. Your problems is not with the others, but with yourself. You shut yourself away from the people and from the life on your own because _you_ feel like you deserve being alone, deserve being unhappy. And Sai-san never actually broke your heart. You love him so much that just being around him is enough to make you happy. _You_ convinced yourself that it wasn't enough because you wanted the pain."

She had her eyes widened. He was reading her like a book.

Gaara kept going: "I suppose that was also the reason you've started to kill even when it wasn't necessary? Because you actually wanted to expelled from ANBU, since being around him brings you more joy than you feel worthy?"

Harumi shook her head. "That might be a reason, but it isn't just that. I… kept thinking that if the greatest woman I ever known had to die through these two hands, those thieves, kidnappers, murderers, sociopaths… Why would they deserve a different fate?"

She sighed. "So I guess I should add 'merciless' to my flaw list."

Gaara also sighed then smiled fondly at her.

"Although our problems may have a different root, I think the solution starts the same: it is up to you to realize that, despite all that happened to you, despite all your sins, you _are_ worthy of living a full and happy life just like everybody else. Your life is precious, Harumi."

Harumi faced him with the most pure despair on her face.

"Can I, really, Gaara-sama? After all these years, after everything I've done… How can you say that the life of someone so rotten like me is precious?"

He shook his head. "You're not rotten." He took her face on his hands. "Harumi, you're so precious and so beloved that you're mother died for you. You're so dear that being in bad terms with you hurt Sai-san so bad that even his best friend couldn't just stand there and watch. You're so talented that you're Kage is willing to try anything to not to lose you as a kunoichi. You're so special that in two weeks you touched the hearts of three kids and pulled them closer to their dreams. And _you_ are so amazing that you had me by my heart from the very beginning."

She closed her eyes. "I don't deserve your feelings."

Gaara caressed her cheek. "I don't know about that. All I know is that when I'm with you, I feel… free. I've reached with a new level of bonding with you. I care for you in a way totally different from the way I care for other people. My feelings for you are a paradoxes: at the same time that they make me feel like every single moment with you worths a lifetime, I also think that even if we spend all the time in world together, it wouldn't be enough. I love finding out new sides of you, I love seeing you make those new expressions and cute gestures… And I absolutely love to love you. With all your flaws. Your stubbornness, your addiction to sadness, the distorted way you see things…I love you all your defects." Gaara smiled in a way he hoped it seemed firm. "I even love the you who loves Sai-sama and the way you smile brightly just for him… I guess I'm addicted to sadness too."

Harumi's face started to feel warmer and she took it away from his hands and buried her head on her curled legs. Gaara noticed that her ears were oddly red. He was about to ask her if she was alright when she talked:

"You forgot to add another thing that I've done calculatingly to hurt myself."

"Did I?"

"When I realized I wouldn't be able to stop myself from falling in love with a man I didn't deserve to love, I seduced him into a relationship where I would be painfully closer of being his lover but, at the same time, as far as possible of being so, to shield myself and to make sure I'd have a back full of painful memories when I got home." She put her head up to look at him. "But that plan backfired."

"How so?" He asked, breathlessly.

"I didn't know this man was so kindhearted to love me back and I also had no idea he would be so pushy on trying to make me happy to the point when I couldn't care less if I'm worthy or not of being happy. All I want to do right now is to hear him say he loves me again."

Gaara pulled her to another hug and this time he kissed her nape before whispering in her ear:

"I _do_ love you, Harumi. All of you."

She sighed. "Thank you, Gaara-sama. Me t…"

But he hushed her by pressing his lips against hers.

* * *

 **And** then they were on Gaara's bedroom, sitting on the parapet of the window and still kissing. None of them paid attention to how they got there. One of them or both had used the Shunshin no Jutsu, but they didn't spend time trying to figure that out.

Gaara took her sword off her back, then stripped Harumi's flak jacket, then the arm guards and the gloves… Geez, why did Konohagakure's ANBU wear so many pieces of clothe? He was tired of it when he unclasped the pouches around her waist. She still had her pants, undershirt and shoes on.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" The Kazekage snapped, then he used his sand to reduce her clothes to a pile of scraps on their feet.

On her underwear, Harumi removed his Kage calmly cloak while she was saying: "Gaara-sama, you realize that I'm half-naked while sitting on a window where anyone can see me, right?"

He smirked, then he picked her up and carried her to his red leather armchair. "Problem easily solved." He leaned closer to give her lips a quick kiss, bracing himself on the armrest. "Now you sit back and leave it all to me."

Her sexy laugh echoed. "Payback?"

Gaara answered by winking at her. He kneeled down in front of the chair and moved his hands slowly through her thighs, pushing them apart to clear his way to her silky, dark red panties. He planted a soft kiss there, liking the feeling of hot, Harumi-scented, moistness on his lips. His mouth made its way up to her knees by running on the insides of her thighs. The sand user looked at her face, resting his cheek on her skin, while his hands were busy removing that piece of clothing standing on his way.

"Harumi," he said with an unusually husky voice "I intend to spend some time down there. I won't be able to talk and you won't see my face, will you be okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, like I can think of anything or anyone else when I'm doing this with you."

He smacked his lips, feeling a bit touched and a lot hornier, and give her newly exposed part a peck. Gaara used his index fingers to pull her outer lips apart, watching closely how wet she was, after that he licked her from her lowest part up with his entire tongue, then he licked his way down. After doing that again two or three times, he had her body squirming beneath his tongue and her fingers digging into his hair, pushing his head closer. The quiet sighs were turning into moans.

He figured it was time to cut the teasing and, alternating the acts of sliding his tongue right in, moving all around her insides, and sucking her swollen clit with his lips, he made Harumi shout and wrap her legs around him, like a scarf. The young man took that as an opportunity to put his arms around her and raise her up, carrying her sitting over his shoulders to the bed, never stopping his tongue moves inside her. She screamed with the surprise. He put her down on the edge of the bed and kneeled on the floor. The armchair didn't allow her to move around much and Gaara loved to see her squirm and arch her back.

"Oh, Gaara-sama…" She moaned breathlessly.

He lifted his head to talk to her:

"You know what, you could drop the suffix, couldn't you?" He asked as he placed her inner thighs soft kisses. "I've always called you 'Harumi', anyway."

She denied emphatically. "I would be too embarrassed."

The Kazekage sucked the faint skin there, leaving a hickey behind - he would be the one to mark _her_ that night for a change - and then grinned. "We'll come back to that."

He resumed his work, this time giving her clit undivided tongue and lips attention while two fingers worked their way inside her. She let out a big scream followed by shorter, breathless ones. He was pushed closer and her legs were around his head like a boa constrictor, making it really hard to breath, but he didn't mind: he could feel she was painfully close. He redoubled his efforts.

Harumi arched her back. "G-Gaara-sssaa…"

Realizing she what she was trying to say and having no intentions of letting her finish the suffix, he pressed his fingers against the sweet spot inside her at the same time he sucked on her bud really intensely. His goal was achieved. He felt every muscle on her body tense up - including her throat, bringing death to the phoneme of the _m_ she was trying to produce - as she climaxed. Her legs fell on his shoulders, strengthless, and he smirked as he got up.

After drowning in the afterglow for a second, Harumi sat up. Once again she dazzled him with her lustful gaze.

"Clothes. Off. Now." She commanded, taking off her bra.

Thankfully, under his robe, he was wearing his casual button-down crimson shirt, his belt with the sand gourd attached to it, and pants. It was an attire way more easier to stip than Harumi's. Although, she took her time undressing him, undoing his buttons one by one, removing his belt very carefully, to just then slide his shirt off his body. At first, he thought she was doing it that slowly to tease him, but then he noticed a shy blush on her cheeks. He couldn't believe it: the strong-willed, cheeky Harumi was embarrassed.

"So rare." He said out loud, putting a lock of her soft hair behind her ear.

She narrowed her eyes, defiant. "Quiet."

She hugged him, pulling his cloth covered crotch to her face. She opened the button of his pants and then ran her hands up his bare torso, feeling the toned muscles, he took her hands in his, entwining their fingers. Harumi looked at him:

"Now who's the one who keep getting in the way?" She jested with a smirk. "Good thing I'm very skilled with my mouth."

She used her teeth to unzip his pants and moved up to the waistbands of his pants and boxers, biting them. Then she pulled his last pieces of clothing off, using just her dental arches, what was a chore and took longer then it would take if Gaara released her hands, but he loved the feeling of her hands on him and watching her do that, like she was just to desperate to undress him, gave him an animalistic feeling he just loved.

Harumi kissed the head of his penis amorously, making him shiver.

"Gaara-sama," she panted "I really wanted to give you a blowjob to compensate for earlier but I think I can't wait any longer to feel you inside me."

He chuckled. "Your wish is my command."

Gaara didn't even take the time to climb up on bed. He just bent his knees to reach the height of his bed and thrusted his full lenght at once into her. Harumi cried out and threw her legs and arms around him. Because that position wasn't very comfortable, he stood up, with Harumi in his arms and his dick deep inside her. His hands went to the small of her back to slam her body against his, making they both pant with pleasure. She pressed her body tighter on him and reached out to kiss him, he found extremely hot the way she kept moaning even with her lips and tongue totally busy with his.

He kneeled on bed, never stopping his frantic thrusts, and sat on his heels, allowing her to release her grip a bit and put her feet down. She trailed kisses from his to his earlobe, where she whispered:

"Let me do some work myself, now."

Gaara shifted his legs to sit on the bed with his legs crossed and leaned his upper body back, bracing himself on his arms. "Okay."

Harumi placed her hands on his shoulders, pressing her body really close to his, and straddled him, one of her hands traveled down to guide his erection back inside her. She rode him slowly, pressing her lips together to suppress her screams and digging her nails on his shoulder blades. She teared up.

"What's wrong, Harumi?" He asked, feeling a bit concerned with her unusual reactions. "Want more? You can move faster if this is not enough."

She shook her head. "I can't. It feels too good, if I move faster I'm gonna… Ah!"

That cute incomplete sentence set the animal inside him free. Gaara used the support of his arms to push his hips upwards, meeting every move that Harumi did and picked up the pace of the slams.

"Oh, so good!" She cried out, her body lost its strength and she fell back, bracing herself on her hands that she put back, just like Gaara was doing.

He realized her arms were also losing strength, so her stretched out his legs to keep her from falling on bed. She fell over his legs instead and lifted her most alluring gaze to his face.

"Why am I feeling it so much stronger than you?" She asked in between moans.

Gaara put his arms around her again to lift her hips and pull them against him. "I don't know. Maybe because I'm more used to making love to the person I love than you are."

"Don't get too cocky." She rebuked.

He smirked. "That's impossible when I have you shivering with pleasure beneath me, baby."

Gaara leaned in to suck on those lovely breasts and kiss her pinkish nipples. It delighted him to be able to make love to her like that, completely showing his emotions, worshiping the wonderful body of the woman he loved. He felt like he was melting, specially then, when he had her on the edge of glory and her walls would embrace his throbbing member like she was trying to make him a part of her, and he knew it wouldn't take long until they both climaxed.

But she was closer than him.

"Gaara-sama, I'm…" She breathed, curling her toes.

He wrapped her in his arms and lied back on bed, pulling her with him in such a way she was now on top of him. Immediately, his hands went to the back of her thighs and pushed her up, until just the tip of his cock was still inside her and held her there. Harumi looked down, confused.

"Gaara-sama, what are you…?"

He made a circular move, teasing her entrance, she moaned. "I won't put it in."

"Huh? Wh…?" But Gaara repeated the move that muffled her sentence with a moan once again.

"I won't put it back in until you ask me properly to do so."

"Don't joke with me." She told him, but her pants ruined the imperious tone.

"Ask me." He knew he was being cruel. She was dying for the next thrust, that would sent her over the precipice, her orgasm so close and so distant that it was painful.

Harumi tried to press her hips down, but the wobbly body of a pleasure drunk woman couldn't resist the strong hands of a trained shinobi: instead of managing to impale herself on him, she only make the tip of his cock rub on her outer and inner lips, making the moment even more tantalizing. She cried out in frustration and looked at him with a pleading expression:

"Please, please, put it back in, Gaara-sama."

"Try again without the suffix." He told her.

"Gaara-sama, please!" She begged.

He lowered her body just an inch down on him, then pushed her back up. She cried out again. "Come on, Harumi. It's up to you."

She took a deep breath. "Please, thrust it deep inside me… Gaara."

He smirked and took his hands off her. Gravity did the job. His prick slammed right in, touching all the right spots. Harumi cried out for real as climaxed for the second time on that night. She let her body fell over Gaara's.

His hands came back to her hips. "Harumi… I didn't cum yet." He started to move her hips up and down, impaling her on him again and again.

"Oh, no, no, I'm still…" She tried to stop him, but a new peak of pleasure turned her sentence into a moan and making all her body tingle. Harumi bit his shoulder again.

"Third time already? How selfish of you, Harumi." He teased, still slamming his dick inside her repeatedly.

He could feel for the moisture inside her and the twitching frenzy of her walls that she was getting closer of a fourth orgasm and this time he knew he would climax with her. Gaara speeded up his thrusts, producing loud, erotic, slapping sounds of her thighs slamming on his. He could almost taste the release now.

Harumi took her lips to his ears to whisper in it: "G-Gaara…"

That did it. He shoot it deep inside of her, rope after rope, as Harumi's body tensed up above him with yet another orgasm, then she relaxed with such a powerful aftersex bliss that she almost lost **consciousness**.

"You have a lot of credits with me now." She told him lazily.

He laughed shortly and kissed her hair. "You're amazing."

She produced a sound that could mean anything and then get off him and then left the bed. He watched her move around the bedroom, grabbing the clothes scattered around the floor and folding them carefully.

"Why are you doing that?" He asked.

"I'm checking the casualties. You have even ruined my shoes!"

He smiled. "I'll go pick a fresh change of clothes on your dorm tomorrow morning." Now she had her sword on her hands.

"You better." Harumi narrowed her eyes at him as she closed her hand on the hilt. She walked back to bed, taking the weapon with her. The kunoichi answered the mute question reflected on his eyes: "On ANBU, I was taught to always go to sleep with a weapon within reach."

"You were taught to be paranoid, then." He joked.

She placed her sword on bedside table as she sat down on bed and grinned. "Said the man with the self-moving sand shield."

Gaara chuckled as he pulled her to his arms. "But I'm glad you'll stay the night willingly this time."

She placed her head on his bites-marked shoulder. "Me too."

He pulled the wool blanket over them and caressed her long, soft, ginger hair and she yawned.

"Ha! It's the first time you did it first." He realized.

"I'm taking all the firsts today, ain't I?" Harumi purred.

"Before I let you sleep, can I ask you one more thing?"

"Sure."

"What did you mean when you said you wasn't able to keep yourself from falling for me?"

The brow above her green eye went up. "Seems like an easily understandable sentence for me."

"Yeah, but… There's the Sai-san thing and, well, _why_? Seriously, all I've done before you asked me out for dinner was to look stupid."

"'Haruka'." She remembered with a laugh.

He felt his cheeks burn a bit. "Precisely."

She sighed. "I told you I've heard a lot about your story, didn't I?" Gaara nodded. "All the things that I had heard about you, mainly from Temari-san, was things like _brave_ , _heroic_ , _smart_ , _kind_ , _stoic_ , _noble_ … So, when I first met you, I was waiting for someone like Kakashi-sama less the dirty books kink. But what I saw was a adorable, gentle, young man that would worry deeply even with a stranger and would go beet red when flustered. And that doesn't mean that you're _not_ the illustrious character that I've heard of, it just means that you are more than that."

Gaara could feel his face burning and he felt so embarrassed by her flattering words that he almost hid his face on the blanked, but, because he really wanted to hear what she had to say next, he managed to kept his cool a bit.

Harumi started to trace patterns on the exposed skin of his chest with her fingertips before she resumed the talking:

"And about Sai-sama… Well, there's no denial I have strong feelings for him. Even now. After all, he was the person who rescued me from the hell I was living and taught me how to stand on my own two feet. Heck, he was the one who gave my name its meaning. But, while we were watching the matches of the Exams earlier, after Sai-sama and I made up, I compared the cozy feelings I have for him and this torrid sentiments I have for you and I found out that, yes, I _do_ love Sai-sama, but I am not _in love_ with him."

Gaara kept waiting, but she didn't say what he want to hear, so he pressed:

"And…?"

"And what?"

"How do you feel about me?"

"Oh. That." She gulped. "Well, I won't say it now, it will sound cheap!"

"I don't care. Say it."

She sighed. "Okay, then."

Harumi sat up to look straightly into his eyes. With her green eye sparkling like polished jade and the usually hazel eye going black like coal - but both of them overflowing her feelings - she said:

"Gaara, I love you beyond words."

Knowing how much meaning that phrase had for her, he didn't need to ask if that meant she was in love with him. The Kazekage just pulled her to one last kiss before sleep. After that, Harumi came back to her place on his shoulder and nuzzled on him, drowsy, feeling that she would have another nice, full night of good sleep.

But she was very wrong.

At 5:30 a.m. - less than three hours after she shared her goodnight kiss with Gaara -, Harumi woke up. She untangled herself from his arms and shifted on bed to face him.

Good. He was fast asleep.

She smiled at his calm, peaceful face as she stretched her hand to grab the sword on the nightstand. She unsheathed it quietly, letting the blade shine under the light of that early morning. It was a thing she had always liked to watch: the gleam of her faithful blade under her skilled hands. The kunoichi brandished her weapon on the perfect position for the thrust.

Harumi turned her gaze to Gaara once more. For the last time.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered.

Then she made the deadly move, letting the blade to dig inside the flesh, the pure silver getting stained with red.


	9. You make me wanna die

Waking up was a very confusing event for Gaara on that morning.

He was dreaming about the bowl of rice on which he had sticked his chopsticks upwards on the day he met Harumi, then he felt warm, salty drops on his lips. _Tears_?

Then it reached him. Pain. An excruciating, sharp pain. His insides were burning and he felt something cold piercing him and he was sure that something _shouldn't_ be there.

He cried for help, still too afraid and too confused to open up his eyes. Soon he heard a bangs on the door, a man - Kankurou? - calling his name. A louder bang of someone breaking in his door.

The sharp pain reached a whole new level when the cold thing piercing him was removed, leaving a deep, aching hole on his body. He cried out in agony again. Someone else called his name - now he was pretty sure it was Temari - and a voice, a beautiful voice he wouldn't forget even groggy with pain and sleepiness like he was, screamed:

"Go away!"

Harumi. Harumi sounded angry. He had to help.

Gaara opened his eyes, but that didn't make the moment more real. He saw Harumi splitting Karasu in two with a bloody katana as she was dodging Shikamaru's shadows and he saw Kankurou rolling on the floor, screaming. He saw Temari, sitting on his bed beside him, pressing the sheets against him, and Naruto had just gotten there, he was staring at the chaotic scene from the door, aghast. Temari shouted at him:

"Seventh, please, help them and send a kage bunshin for help!"

"I'm on it!" Two Naruto's ran to Harumi and one ran out the window.

Gaara tried to tell them to stop that nonsense, but he couldn't talk. He couldn't breath. Black masses started to move in front of his eyes, making his vision darker and darker. And he was cold…

"Oh, no, no, no,no, Gaara!" Temari cried, he was feeling the warm, salty drops on his face again. "Stay strong! Please, don't do that!"

 _So cold. So cold…_

"I'm cold." He murmured.

"Oh, want me to get you another blanket?" Temari offered.

Gaara opened his eyes. They were in a small room where the walls were painted in pastels colors and the floor was covered in white tiles, he could hear a periodical high-pitched beep coming from a machine monitoring his heartbeats. A hospital room. He looked around. There were only two beds in that room, the other one was being used by Kankurou.

"Is he alright?" He asked her, very concerned.

"Yes, he just a bit anemic. He had been under great mental stress, but he still insisted in donate to you all the blood you needed, that idiot. He think he is to fault for what happened."

Gaara tried to remember what had happened, but all he got was a big headache.

"What happened?" He asked her. "For how long have I been here?"

"In this room, since yesterday, but you've stayed on ICU for two days and you've spent ten hours on a surgery room." She listed. "And you really have no recollections of what happened?"

Gaara shook his head. Temari sighed and a dark shadow crossed her face.

"Harumi tried to kill you. She lacerated you spleen and the lower part of your left lung. When you called for help, Kankurou, Shikamaru and I went there… She resisted. She tortured both Kankurou and Shikamaru. We were only able to subdue her when the Seventh Hokage got there because the Nine Tails makes him strong against genjutsu."

Gaara widened his eyes. "When you say 'subdue'..."

"Don't worry, Gaara. She's alright." Temari narrowed her eyes. "Are you really worried about her? Did you miss the part of the story where I told she tried to kill you?"

He gave her a sad smile. "Unfortunately not."

His sister placed a comforting hand on his. "Naruto and Sai are waiting outside. They wanted to talk to you as soon as you wake up. May I call them in?"

"Sure, but first, can you help me sit up?"

"Oh, here." She pressed a button on a remote strapped on his bed to make it recline up slowly. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you."

She winked at him before walking towards the door. She went outside for a few seconds then came back with Naruto and Sai a few steps behind her. They stopped in front of his hospital bed. When the men prostrated themselves in front of him and Gaara understood what they were going to do, the Kazekage raised his hands to stop them.

"Please, don't apologize! I don't blame anyone but me… and Harumi… for what happened. I didn't think this through. It's not Sai-san's or Naruto's fault, so, _please_ , don't apologize."

Both men straightened their back. Naruto breathed in.

"Very well, then. We are trying to get Harumi to explain what the hell happened, but she said she would talk only after seeing how you are." He shifted awkwardly. "Shikamaru has her on his shadows, so it's safe, can they come in?" Gaara allowed and Naruto pressed something on his neck. "Bring her."

A minute later, Harumi crossed walked in the room, barefoot and wearing his red button-down shirt as a dress. She gave a relieved smile and the spaces between the beeps of Gaara's heart monitor got smaller. Her smile got softer and he looked the other way. He couldn't think straight looking at her.

"Can I get closer?" Harumi asked.

"No." Was Shikamaru's answer. "And keep your eyes closed. Also, don't talk unless you're spoken to."

"It's okay, Shikamaru-nii." Gaara spoke, turning his face back to them. "Harumi, you came here because you had something to say, I suppose."

With her eyes closed and almost ten feet away from his bed, she nodded.

"Well?" Gaara was surprised with how cold his words were sounding even to his own ears.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I'm going to be."

"I am sorry. Really, I… don't know why I did that."

"I know why. And I would say that's okay, but really isn't."

"Gaara…" Her lips started to tremble.

"No, Harumi. Look, I know I've told you that I love every part of you, even your flaws, and I really do. But I…" He breathed in. "I am not strong enough to deal with you. How can I fight for you when you'd go so far as killing me just because I made you happy? I'm not _that_ addicted to pain."

"No, it's not…" A few tears were escaping her closed eyelids and running down her face.

"Please, don't make it harder than it already is. It breaks my heart to say so, but we must be rational: Harumi, there's nothing more that I can do to heal you. I gave you my everything and that only made everything worst. I'm no good for you."

Harumi disobeyed her orders and opened her teary eyes. "Please, don't say that." She sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Harumi, but I'm giving up on you. I still want you to be happy, but I'm not the one who can grant it to you." He told her, at the same time that Sai reminded her to keep her eyes closed.

"I love you." She said, sounding desperate.

"I believe you." He smiled to fight away the tears. "Goodbye."

The quiet tears turned into mourning. Harumi wanted to hide her face away, but, because she was stuck on Shikamaru's jutsu, she couldn't do even that, so she closed her eyes.

Sai took pity on his subordinate. "I think she's done, Shikamaru." The shadow user nodded and the two of them left. Sai kept watching the door long before they crossed it. "Kazekage-dono, before I leave, can I point something out?"

Temari said something like "Not now, Sai", but Gaara nodded.

"Harumi has been by my side since I she was teenager and it has been pointed out for me that she had feeling for me." Sai started to walk towards the door. "Even so, I had never seen her cry - not for me, nor for anyone - before today."

Gaara closed his eyes and sighed. Naruto started to move too.

"I should go too. We have to take Harumi for Konoha for her trial. Since it was an international crime, we'll be waiting for Suna to decide how and where the sentence will be executed."

Gaara had to ask: "What is the penalty for her crime?"

"She tried to murder a Kage while on duty as my representative, she attacked a fellow citizen, an ally shinobi and her Kage and she just disobeyed a direct order from her superior. Are you sure you need to ask?"

He felt a sharp pain on his chest completely unrelated to his injuries. "But I won't press charges! What if I write a letter of indulgence?"

Naruto shook his head but was Kankurou, who had just woke up, who answered:

"You can't, Gaara. Objectively speaking, Harumi-san attempted against the sovereignty of two villages. I know she didn't mean to, her attack was personal, but that was what she did. If you write grant her your forgiveness, you'd be staining the image of Sunagakure. The council would never approve and you could cause a mutiny."

"I don't care!" He snapped. "I won't let Harumi die!"

"To quote your words," Naruto spoke on his way to the door "'don't make it harder than already is', Gaara. Besides, Harumi's life left her years ago. It was about time for the body to follow."

* * *

A cold drop of rain fell on Harumi's head. She looked up. Her cell had a drip right above her. She looked around. The only free bed, besides the one was currently using, was one between the bed of the disgusting man who called her "hot stuff" and ask her to "shake her booty for papa" when she got in and an equally disgusting man who was actually jerking off. Really.

"So bed under the drip it is." She whispered to herself. The bright side it was that she always would know when it was raining outside.

Harumi curled her legs under her body and sat on her heels. She pulled the collar of Gaara's shirt and smelled it. At first, there was a faint smell of him lingering on the shirt that calmed her down, but now Gaara's scent was long gone and all that sniffing the shirt did was remind her that she hadn't seen him for one week now. She felt like crying again, but she was so tired that she didn't even had strength left to produce tears. Instead, she allowed her mind to wander about what had happened ever since Gaara told her goodbye.

She kept sobbing so hard through the hallways of the hospital on their way out, that Shikamaru stopped by a vending machine to get her some water. There was a middle-aged man buying a can of soda in front of them.

"I'm sorry for making you guys wait." He told them with a friendly smile.

"It's okay." Shikamaru was now inserting coins in the machine. The man turned to Harumi.

"Stop crying, pretty girl."

And just like that, her tears stop flowing. She looked at the man's face and two evil, honey colored eyes stared back at her. Those eyes still haunted her nightmares.

"It's yo…" She started, but he hushed her by placing his index finger by his lips.

"I'll come for you, Harumi." He whispered and then he left. Shikamaru turned back to her with her water.

Of course she tried to tell him that Takeshi Rindou was alive and here and that he was to blame for what had happened to Gaara, but he didn't listen. Nor Sai, nor Naruto, nor the jury. As a result, she was on that dirty cell with those dirty men waiting for her death sentence to be announced.

She wouldn't believe herself either. All she had was some random evidences that would mean absolutely nothing to anyone but her. The facts were that she had pierced the Kazekage's body with her katana, tortured the minds of two men and would have done the same to the Hokage. And Takeshi Rindou was dead. She had killed him eight years ago.

Besides, when she checked herself on the mirror - the cell had one, but because it was too close to the bed of those men, Harumi avoided using it -, she saw the perfect image of madness: the messy hair, the face sprinkled with blood and the unevenly colored, bloodshot eyes.

Still, she knew now she was innocent.

Now everything made sense: she was doing random unwitting things like clapping and saying watermelon because Takeshi was around, probable testing if his jutsu would work on long reach; she was crying when she hurt Gaara because, despite the undeniable urge of digging her sword on him, her subconscious knew she didn't want to do that, so much that she actually _failed_ on killing him and, the thing that always had bothered her: why would Takeshi Rindou allow her to kill him when all it took him to stop her was a command?

Answer: he didn't.

Harumi still didn't know how he managed to make the ANBU member that checked the "corpse" believe he was dead and how he survived the fire that they started on the cabin later, but that didn't change the fact that Takeshi Rindou was alive.

She wondered if she could have a letter sent to Gaara explaining everything as her last wish and if he would believe her. Honestly, she didn't think so. His version of the story was way more plausible: Harumi, like always, sabotaged her own happiness by trying to kill the man she loved because she was… well, psychotic. Harumi remembered the he sad, jaded expression he showed on the last time she had seen him.

 _I'm not strong enough to deal with you._

 _You are._ She wanted to tell him. _You're the only one who can deal with me when even I can do that. I need you._

But her throat close up and the only thing she managed to do was mumble some nonsense and cry.

Pathetic.

Despite her two cell mated being awake, she walked to the mirror, almost asking for one of them to mess with her. She could use some ass-kicking right now. Sadly, none of them did and she managed to see her reflection on the mirror. She had nothing of the woman that Gaara had fallen in love with anymore.

"So fucking pathetic." She told to the girl on the mirror.

"Talking to me, hot stuff?" The disgusting man #1 asked.

"Fuck off." She hissed.

"Geez, chillax, hot stuff."

She was about to give him a not very polite comeback when someone called:

"Harumi Rindou."

She turned around and found Shikamaru holding the the cell door open. "Yes?"

"Come with me."

She followed him outside the prison. Harumi noticed it wasn't raining anymore. Once they were out, he guided her to a dark alley.

"What is going on?" The kunoichi asked.

"Officially, I'm taking you to Ibiki for an interrogatory. But, actually, the Hokage wants to meet you. Now, how much chakra do you have now?"

She frowned, very confused. "I'm rested. Why he wants to me?"

"Please, use the _henge no jutsu_ to disguise yourself as Hinata and go to Seventh's office."

Harumi turned into Hinata. " _Why?_ " She insisted.

"Just do as I say. Go."

"Aren't you coming with me?"

"No. I need to fetch someone else."

Harumi raised an eyebrow. "What if I run away?"

Shikamaru gave her a condescending smile. "What's out there for you to run away to?"

She nodded. "You have a point."

Harumi flew to Konoha's main building, where she got a lot of courteous greetings that she didn't know how to respond until she finally reached Naruto's office.

"Hi! I love you." Was the Hokage's greeting when she got in.

Harumi raised her hands and resumed to her true self. "No, no, no, no! Wrong person."

Naruto smiled. "So it _is_ you, Harumi. I'm sorry. I just wanted to be sure you're not the real Hinata." The smile got a bit cheeky. "But if there's no blush, you're not my wife."

Harumi wasn't sure what she should say or do - specially because he was the one who called her there -, so she was glad when he got to the point:

"I'm not convinced that you tried to kill Gaara on your own."

She widened her eyes. "So…!"

Naruto shushed with a glance. "But I'm also not convinced that your version is true. That's why I called you here to meet with someone who can verify the verisimilitude of you story." Naruto took a look at his watch. "They'll be here any moment now."

Two seconds after he'd said that, there was a knock on the door and Shikamaru and Naruto's predecessor, Kakashi Hatake, got in.

"Yo!" The Sixth Hokage greeted.

"Kakashi-sensei, thanks for coming." Naruto said. "I supposed Shikamaru already filled you in?"

"Yeah." The oldest among walked to his former student's desk and leaned on it, then turned his gaze to Harumi. "So you say that, Takeshi Rindou, the man _you_ killed eight years ago, is alive?"

Harumi nodded.

"You mean alive, like resurrected or alive, like he had never died in first place?"

She gave it a thought. "The second option, I think."

"And he was skilled enough to feign his own death?"

Harumi tilted her head. "Well, the kinjutsu of Rindou is really strong on him."

Kakashi nodded to that, but Shikamaru and Naruto didn't understand. The current Hokage was the one who asked what that meant.

"Many years ago, even before I was born, the Rindou Clan was a quite powerful clan here in Konoha, politically speaking." Kakashi started to explain. "The other clans started to question that, since the Rindou wasn't the richest, nor the strongest, nor the oldest clan of the village. It was found out that their influence came from a ninjutsu: a Rindou could control everything marked with their blood. Because that jutsu was too… aggressive and because it was being used for the wrong reasons, the Third Hokage forbade them of using this technique, which was named as 'the kinjutsu of Rindou'. As a result, the Rindou clan lost force and started waning until it came down to one single family with four members: Takeshi and Fuyuko and their parents, who died early. If Takeshi Rindou can use their kinjutsu, it's possible that he had made the shinobi that examined his body to say he was dead and he _can_ control Harumi's mind, once she's both his daughter and his nephew."

"What?!" Both Shikamaru and Naruto panicked.

"Takeshi kidnaped my mom and raped her." Harumi made the long story short.

The two men let that sank in for a while, then Shikamaru speaked:

"But if this technique is the reason Takeshi is alive, shouldn't the shinobi who made sure he was dead be related to him to? Otherwise, how did he controlled him?"

"The kinship not a must." Kakashi explained. "It's all about the blood: if Takeshi managed to make the shinobi touch his blood, even a little bit, he would be able to order him to tell everyone he was dead and never mention it again. With Harumi and Fuyuko, that wasn't necessary since they already share the same blood."

"And why would Takeshi Rindou want to kill Gaara?" Naruto asked.

It was Shikamaru who answered:

"I have two theories: one, that guy is a mercenary, an anti-Kazekage group could have paid him to do so. And two, maybe all Takeshi wanted to do was to pull Harumi apart from Gaara: maybe he planned to take Harumi back and couldn't do it with her being so… huh… intimate with the Kazekage."

Harumi nodded. "And he did tell me that he was coming for me."

Naruto steepled his fingers, making Harumi smile. It was a gesture that Gaara did a lot when he was working.

"Shikamaru, for when is Harumi's execution appointed?" He asked.

Gaara's brother-in-law sighed. "Six days from now." He turned to Harumi. "Suna decided you shall die by lethal injection."

She chuckled. "Good to know. That's one of those things you only do once in life."

"Shikamaru, Kakashi-sensei, could you two leave us alone for a moment?" The Seventh asked.

"Are you sure?" His right-arm inquired.

"Yeah. I'll call you back in no time." Naruto answered with a confident smile. "I just need a second to talk to her alone."

They left. Harumi looked at him with wondering eyes.

"I believe you." He told her. "And even if I didn't, I don't think you deserve to die, even if you desire to do so." He bumped his fingertips against each other. "But, even so, there's nothing I can do to help you without causing a Fifth Great War…"

"I know."

He raised a finger to hush her. "Still, there a few things I would advise you to do if could do so. But I can't."

Harumi frowned. "Huh?"

Naruto kept going, with serious eyes. "If I _could_ give you some advice, I would tell you to ask for a cell transfer, because you _could_ get transferred to a cell where you would be alone and some equipments _could_ be slipped through the bars."

"Oh." She said, understanding.

"Also, I would tell you that, if Takeshi Rindou do come for you in this six days you have left, you should be prepared to neutralize him, because his testimony may revoke your condemnation." He looked deep into her eyes. "And I _would_ tell that, if he didn't come, you should run away."

"I couldn't do that. The big shots in Suna would be furious and would blame Konoha."

"I wouldn't care. Gaara would be on my side. I would rather deal with a few pissed old men than with the fact of letting an innocent die." Naruto took a deep breath. "But your condemnation went to public already. Takeshi Rindou must know by now he only has six days to get you."

Harumi smiled. The Seventh Hokage was good man. No wonder Gaara treasured him so much. She decided that, if the sixth day came, she _would_ run away. Yes, it was true she didn't have anywhere or anyone to run to, but she wouldn't die letting such a noble heart carry the guilt.

Still, something was bothering her:

"Hokage-sama, there's one thing that we _should_ be prepared for if you _had_ advised me: my progenitor is so skilled on manipulating me that he managed to make me attack the man I love, so I have really low chances of actually defeating and there's a better chance of him taking control of me once again."

Naruto pressed his lips together and nodded. "Well, first: you're a trained ANBU member and you had your target asleep and vulnerable, if his jutsu was so strong over you, Gaara would be dead. And secondly,..." He gagged.

"Secondly?"

"I can't tell you that. I can't even tell you what I would say if we were having this conversation that we are not having right now."

"Huh?!" Harumi palmed her hands. "Hokage-sama, I won't know what you mean unless you tell me clearly… Or at least clearer than that."

Naruto leaned back on his chair and drummed his fingers on the table, thinking. He had an idea and it was like a light bulb had gone on over his head.

"I have a daughter! She looks a lot like her mom." Because Harumi was about to interrupt him, he added: "Please, listen, I have a point, I swear."

"Okay, go ahead."

"Well, so, Himawari has inherited byakugan and she's already very skilled on using it already. Her grandfather and aunt are having fun on training her. Anyway, these days she learned the Oiroke no Jutsu, which is _mine_ supersecret technique. It did leave a weird feeling on my chest since she's only five, but still..."

"Lovely story. And…?"

"Really? You have no patience, do you? I'm getting there-ttebayo!" Naruto sighed. "My point is: just because Himawari has a lot of skill similar to her mother's, it doesn't mean she didn't inherit some of mine, after all, she's my daughter too."

Harumi's jaw dropped when she got what he meant.

Naruto kept going. "Having a kid means that your child has a lot of you and that is to say that _you've also got a lot of him_."

"Hokage-sama, are you telling me to use…?"

"I'm not telling you anything." He smirked. "All I did was to tell you a nice story about my daughter."

* * *

Sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, alone in her new cell, Harumi waited.

On the fourth night after the conversation with Naruto, she felt it. A compelling feeling that she had never felt before: a thrill running through her veins, a tingling on her fingertips.

She smiled. It was time.

Seconds later, a guard came by and unlocked her cell, letting a hooded man beside him get in. After that, he left. The man removed the hood slowly, even though Harumi already knew who was the man under it.

"I haven't seen you for so long, Harumi." Takeshi Rindou said in his slurred, low, voice.

She laughed shortly and got up. "Trust me, it wasn't long enough… Dad."


	10. You loved me back to life

**A/N: Hello! This is the last chapter of _Healing._ Gosh, when I first wrote about Harumi ( _The will of fire continues_ , chapter 6), I couldn't have predicted she would have her very own story! Thank you very much for those who read, reviewed, followed or favorited this story and I hope you guys ejoy the ending.**

 **Oh, yeah! Some of you may had noticed that all the chapters were entitled with excerpts from songs. Here's the list with all of them:**

 **Chapters 1 & 10: Loved me back to life - Sia/Celine Dion (I like Sia's version better, though)**

 **Chapter 2: Hero - Regina Spektor**

 **Chapter 3: Glory box - Portishead**

 **Chapter 4: Can't help falling in love - Elvis Presley**

 **Chapter 5: I can't quit you baby - Led Zeppelin**

 **Chapter 6: Bring me to life - Evanescence**

 **Chapter 7: Fix a heart - Demi Lovato**

 **Chapter 8: Bleeding love - Leona Lewis**

 **Chapter 9: You make me wanna die - The Pretty Reckless**

* * *

Takeshi Rindou reached out to her. "Now, come quick. We're in a rush."

She resisted the urge of taking his hand and grabbed her sword instead. "I'm not going without a fight."

He smiled. "Oh, how cute. You think that because you've gained a little resistence to me, you can put on a fight."

Harumi wielded her sword at him, before the blade touched his skin, he commanded:

"Harumi, cut the crap out. Drop your sword."

The weapon produced a loud, tinkling noise when it hit the floor. Harumi closed her eyes. Oh, crap.

"Now, let's _go_." He hissed.

"No." Harumi said, even though her voice cracked a bit.

Takeshi sighed. "You're sounding a lot like you mother now, Harumi, and it's getting on my nerves. Do you remember her? That old hag that you killed? You will give in sooner or later, so please, make it easier by obeying me now."

"You're the one who did that!" She told him. "And I'm not going with you!"

"Am I?" He smiled evilly and grabbed her face with one hand. "And do you really think you have the right to defy my will, your little tramp? Huh? Do you know the net loss that your little scheme back then caused me? That place was a strategic point for transporting our goods, after you betrayed our position, my partners were very upset with me."

"You traffic people, not 'goods', you dirty monster!" Harumi shouted, pushing him away. She wondered if the other prisoners could listen and what they should be thinking.

He smiled. "We sell them, we get paid for them, they're goods. Anyway, thanks to _you,_ we had to take a roundabout to the Country of Birds and now, with that goddam eruption, we might have to move to the Country of Wind… Well, it was thanks to the eruption that I've found you there. It's a good thing you're in such a good terms with the Kazekage."

"Don't you dare" she snapped "to talk about him with your profane lips."

"Oh, did I touch a sore point, Harumi-chan?" His reptile expression got jeering. "Is your little boyfriend mad at you? And he should be… you tried to kill him, after all. You little whore. Is that a habit of yours, killing those who love you?"

"Shut up!"

"Don't worry, Harumi. I'll make you forget him. I can satisfy you better than he can. Better than anyone can." He got closer to her. "Don't you remember, Harumi? How much I used to make you scream with pleasure, how much you used beg me for more? I'm still the one who you think about when you're spreading your legs, ain't I? _Stay still_."

Takeshi pressed his body against hers. Harumi was frozen, she didn't know if it was because of his command or because his touch filled her mind with terrifying memories of him.

"You've became even hotter than your mother, Harumi. Now I think you can give me a hard on without blowing me." He said against her neck.

The situation was definitely out of her hand. She needed to get a grip of herself. Harumi mustered all her haughtiness and told him: "Stop! Hands off!"

Takashi let her go and took three steps back, surprised. But then his reptilian smile was back.

"Are you trying to give me a dose of my own medicine, Harumi?" He laughed. "You will need much more resolve to oblige me. Let me teach you how."

Takeshi licked his lips. "Harumi, take you clothes off and beg me to fuck you."

Her hands went immediately to the hem of Gaara's shirt to pull it up, but she didn't do it. She had to bite her lower lip to keep them from saying as he'd told.

"What's the point in resisting, Harumi? What's out there for you besides me? A boyfriend who doesn't want you? A village the will execute you?"

He was right. What was the point of fighting anyway? She knew now that there was no way she could subdue him to her will and her resistance to his power was getting weaker and weaker. It was just a matter of time until he had her under his thumb once again? Why to delay the inevitable? And for what should she fight? She had no family. No village. No job. No friends. No Gaara.

The tears started to fall. That was right. She had no Gaara. Even if some miracle happened and she actually managed to prove her innocence, nothing could guarantee that Gaara would take her back. With Takeshi or not, she _had_ pierced his body with a sword and she _was_ undeniably broken.

She pulled the shirt up a bit. Moments of her life flashed before her eyes.

 _I'm not_ that _addicted to pain._

 _I'm sorry, Harumi, but I'm giving up on you._

 _Goodbye._

 _I'm disgruntled. You're a failure._

 _It's okay, Haru. I love you beyond words._

The world would be a better place without her. She had only brought pain to those she loved.

 _Gaara, I love you beyond words._

His face right after she had said that… He looked like a little child getting a pony on their birthday.

Harumi smiled.

"What's that silly smile for, Harumi? Hurry up. Let's make it a quickie before leaving."

Harumi looked at the man she hated, confused. Why was she doing what he had asked anyway?

"Hurry up, you dumb whore! We have a lot to do after this!"

Gaara's version of dirty talk: _We might have to take another bath after this_.

Harumi muffled a laugh with her hands. God, she missed him. Why she was so far away from Gaara if all she wanted was to stay by him?

 _But it is impossible to spend so much time with someone like you and don't fall in love._

 _And I absolutely love to love you._

' _Talk._

 _I love you.'_

And she loved him. So much she could spend the rest of her life with him and she wouldn't be done with conveying all her feeling for him. Didn't he say something similar about forever not being enough of her? Yes, he did.

She was truly loved by him.

How come they weren't together?

"What the fuck are you waiting for, Harumi? _STRIP_!" Takeshi shouted.

Oh, yeah. Him. That man, so vile that shouldn't even be called a man, was responsible for tearing her and Gaara apart. He was responsible for killing her mother and causing such a kindhearted woman so much suffering. He was responsible for her being on the prison. He was responsible for her being so broken.

And there he was again. Trying to take away the light she had managed to muster in her life. And once again, there she was, letting him do so. Hadn't she learned anything? Was she really letting him do anything he wanted with her? How long till she learned to fight for herself?

Now she had something she wanted to stand for.

"Shut up!" She scream back at him.

Takeshi Rindou laughed. "Quit it, Harumi. You're my daughter, but you're not talented like me."

She smiled. "You're might be right. But I certainly _am_ talented like my mother." And she hit him with the most powerful illusion of pain that she had, narrowing her eyes with the effort.

Takeshi screamed in agony. His nails dig into his face, like he was trying to scratch his skin off as he writhed in pain on the ground. After ten seconds of if, he had already pissed his pants.

"Stop this!" He screamed, bulging his eyes.

"It's nice to hear you scream. Ten more seconds."

Now all the guards - including the one who had opened the door to Takeshi - had approached her cell to see what was going on and stood there, in a loss for what to do.

"Help, help!" He cried out.

"You, shut up!" Harumi told him, then she turned to the guards outside: "He's not a prisoner. He's the man who committed the crime for which I'm in this cell and that man" she pointed to the corrupt guard "let him in."

More confusion. The corrupt guard tried to run. His colleagues held him. Harumi turned her gaze again to Takeshi, finally stopping her jutsu. He was lying, breathless, on the cold stone floor of the cell. His eyes had now a hint of madness over the pure malice he once had. She figured she should stop torturing him before she lost him to insanity.

But she couldn't help but point out: "Do you realize how ironic it is the fact that you, who caused so much suffering to many people, is so weak to pain and torture yourself?"

He answered with some unintelligible grumbling. She rolled her eyes and grabbed a scroll for sealing that Naruto had placed (or should it be _that Naruto_ could _have placed_?) in the cell.

Harumi let the thrilling she was feeling ever since she had spotted his presence to take over her body, she allowed her body to _want_ to overrule his free will, to want to crush his pride against her command. With that feeling, she told him:

"Dad, now listen to me, you will take that scroll and use it to seal all your chakra on it."

Takeshi took the scroll of her hands and did as he was told.

"Now, you will stay here and answer honestly everything that might be asked you. Not just about mom, Gaara and me, but about you business partners and the human traffick, otherwise, I'll show you first hand how much I've improved my mother's technique. Understood?"

He was looking at her with the most absolute pish on his eyes, but he nodded.

She smiled. "Good boy." The kunoichi turned to the shocked guards. "Now, could one of you go get the Hokage for me, please?"

* * *

"Boy, I hate pain!" Gaara stated, squirming to avoid Sakura's tweezers.

"Don't be a baby! I'm just removing the stitches, I already did on the suture on your back and you didn't complain! Stay still or I might hurt you!" The medical nin scolded.

The sand user breathed in deeply, closed his eyes, then nodded to Sakura. She tried again. He heard her sigh in exasperation. Opening his eyes to see what was going on, Gaara noticed his sand was in the way.

"Oh, my. Sorry." He tried hard to tell himself that she wasn't trying to hurt him and the sand protection fade away.

Sakura was able to work freely now.

"Seriously, how did Suna's doctors managed to operate him?" She asked Temari.

They were at the Nara state, on Konoha. More precisely, on Shikamaru and Temari's living room. She, who had stayed behind on Suna to take care of her sickly brothers when her husband and the others came back, had just gotten home. Gaara insisted on coming with her: he wanted to be there for Harumi's execution no matter what, even if the physicians had said he shouldn't. Temari wondered why her little brother had been so pushy about it, but she didn't like the path her guesses were taking, so she'd decided to stop thinking about it.

As a result, he was there. Temari thought it was an opportunity to have Gaara examined by Sakura, so she called her. The pinkette appeared as soon as her business hours in her clinic ended.

"Oh." Temari answered. "He was as good as dead then, his shield wouldn't work."

Sakura was done with the stitched and now was using her medical ninjutsu on the scar. Gaara was impressed, it really didn't hurt.

"And how did Harumi-san managed to slice you open like that?" She asked. "That I know of, she doesn't use ninjutsu."

"Actually, she is quite skilled on using ninjutsu." He informed, dressing his shirt back on. "But she hardly has to do so, since just genjutsu does the job most of the time."

The two women exchanged a look. Their thoughts were obvious: _What is he? Harumi's fangirl?_

Gaara tried successfully to keep the blush away from his face. "But, no. It wasn't ninjutsu. It was just her sword. I don't know how, but Harumi was always able to hurt me. Physically, I mean."

"Oh, well… The reason why it's quite obvious, right?" Temari said.

"Is it?"

"You are completely in love with Harumi." She reminded him.

"Right." Gaara still didn't get it.

His sister rolled her eyes. "Gaara, being in love with means…"

"Temari!" Shikamaru shouted from the outer corridor. "I'm going out!" His wife got up and went outside to answer.

"What? Where are you going?" They heard her ask.

"Huh… I'm going to retrieve Gaara's shirt! We might get another guest for dinner."

" _What?_ "

Shikamaru's voice came from very far now. "Watch the news!"

The blond came back into the living room and turned on the TV, alreading zapping to find the news. When she found it, they saw Naruto being interviewed by a young reporter in front of Konohagakure's prison. On the right upper corner of the screen, there was the word LIVE.

" _...age-sama?"_ The reporter was asking Naruto.

The interviewee gave the question a thought. " _Well, I always had my doubt that Harumi would do something like that, so I'm glad that everything turned out to be a misunderstanding."_

That didn't make Temari's questions go away. "What does he mean 'a misunderstanding'? The line of Gaara's stitches are right here for anyone to see!"

"Temari, shush!" He whispered. "I can't hear it!"

" _...ll happen to Harumi Rindou now, Hokage-sama?"_

" _Her death sentence was revoked already, she'll come out anytime now. After that, she's welcome to come back to her post as an ANBU member, if she so desires."_

"Why?!" Temari asked as they could hear her.

The camera focused on two people coming out from the building. There was a huge commotion among the reporters: " _Oh, there she is! Harumi-san! Harumi-san! A word!"._

Harumi looked at the camera, which gave her face a close. She looked awfully tired and pale, but her image gave Gaara's heart a nice squeeze anyway.

" _Huh… Hi."_ She told them. Her voice was captured by the microphones, transmitted by the TV speaker and went straight to Gaara's heart.

The person beside her move to hide Harumi behind his back. It was Sai. " _Sorry, no comments!"_

And the two of them turned into a pool of black ink. The camera came back to the reporter. Naruto was nowhere to be seen now.

"And back at you, Naoki-san."

Two anchors sitting behind a table appeared on the screen, the words on the bottom of the screen now said: CASE CLOSED - THE REAL CULPRIT FOR THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT AGAINST THE KAZEKAGE WAS ARRESTED TONIGHT. HARUMI RINDOU WAS RELEASED.

The lack of complete information angried Temari. She turned off the television and went to the phone to call Sai to ask him what the hell was going on. Sakura looked at the time and told she had to leave. They exchanged pleasantries and she left.

Gaara kept looking at turned off TV, aghast.

He also didn't know what to think of that. Did Naruto lie to release Harumi? Had they used a scapegoat? Or maybe that was true, maybe Harumi wasn't the one who tried to kill him. But hadn't Temari, Kankurou and Shikamaru seen her with her sword pierced on his left side?

That didn't change the fact that Harumi was free. She wasn't going to die anymore. He sighed with relief. It was like the weight of the world had been removed of his back.

"Gaara?" Temari called, she was back on the living room.

He woke up from his reveries."Oh, did you talk to Sai-san?"

"Yes. And I have good, but strange, news."

She explained him the whole story and told that Takeshi Rindou was now awaiting in prison for his own trial, he probably would receive the same sentence that his daughter had received.

"Is she okay? Where is she? I want to…"

Temari calmed him down. "I know. Harumi is okay, she's at Sai's now. Shikamaru is there to talk to her. He will tell her you are here and if wants to come, she will come." His sister pressed her lips together. "But you have to prepare yourself for the possibility of Harumi saying she doesn't want to see you. After all, she must be exhausted and you've said some hurtful things to her that day. Okay, it's understandable, we thought she had tried to kill you, but still…"

He nodded. "You're right."

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Gaara was about to answer but another voice interrupted the siblings once again. But this time it wasn't Shikamaru.

"Gaara!" Harumi called from the outer corridor, sounding a bit desperate. He got up and ran to her meet her, completely forgetting he was in the middle of an unfinished conversation with his sister.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Man, he really _is_ a fangirl."

She also got up and went to the corridor. The scene out there was the most heartwarming scene she had even seen Gaara to protagonize.

He had his forehead touching hers and his right hand on the back of her neck, as the left was wrapping Harumi's right hand, while the free one was placed over his heart. Both of them had their eyes closed and they weren't talking. Temari hadn't take long to join on the corridor, so she knew that hadn't actually exchanged words ever since Harumi got there, but still, anyone could see their feelings were in sync.

Shikamaru, who had been standing behind them awkwardly, walked to stay beside his wife. She nudged him with her elbow.

"Am I great matchmaker or what?"

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "Well, since it was never your plan to actually _match_ them, I'll stay with 'what'. You can be an 'accidental matchmaker' tops."

She narrowed her eyes at him for a second then turned back to Harumi and Gaara. "I've never seen him like that before. He seems… at peace. Like a man who had discovered the secret of life."

Gaara's cheeks burned a bit. "Temari, we can hear you talking, you know?"

"Well, we can you see you snuggling, you know?" She reminded him.

Gaara and Harumi let go of each other, embarrassed. They had actually forgotten that. Shikamaru gave Temari a half smile and coughed:

"Cockblock."

As determined by Murphy's Law, Shikadai had to choose that precise moment to also came out in the corridor, with a towel around his neck.

"Hey, mum, I'm done with bath so the next… Huh? What's a…?"

"Oh, great! Harumi, would you like to take a bath before dinner?" Temari offered, acting overly excited to draw her son's attention to something else.

"That would be great. Thank you, Temari-san. There are no bathtubs on prison and all we got there are five minutes shower a day." Harumi tilted her head to the side. "And there is no suggestion box either. It is indeed a place forsaken by the gods."

Gaara laughed. "Yes, indeed. I'm pretty sure that the only thing wrong with jail is the lack of a suggestion box." He grabbed Harumi's hand. "Come, let's go to the bathroom."

Temari sighed. "I could go to bed without having _that_ to think about." Shikamaru agreed with a hum. "Well, I'll finish dinner. You two set the table, please."

Father and son followed Temari back inside. Shikadai looked up at his father face.

"Hey, dad?"

"Hm?"

"Why that Harumi lady isn't wearing pants?"

"That's because she was in jail and before that, when she was arrested, she was…" Shikamaru shook his head to keep the memory of Harumi in her birthday suit away from his thoughts. "You know what, ask her later. Better yet, ask _Gaara_ later."

Shikadai looked suspicious, but nodded anyway. "And what is a cockblock?"

His father chuckled. "That's is something you've being doing since the day you were born. But still, your mother and I love you very much."

Shikadai blinked. "Oh."

Of course that hadn't answered anything. But now that he knew that it was something relatable to his parents, Shikadai wasn't sure he still wanted to know.

* * *

To the delight of Temari and Shikamaru, Gaara and Harumi kept her bath very PG-13: all he did was sit on the floor beside the bath and comb her wet hair as Harumi soaked herself in the hot water.

She grabbed his hand and kissed it. "I've missed you."

"And I, you."

"I'm sorry for hurting you."

"Me too."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Harumi nibbled his hand playfully. "Stop that, I feel like I'm talking to a parrot. Say something original now."

He laughed. "I'm sorry. Let's see… Thank you for not killing me back then."

She nuzzled her head against his hand. "I'm glad I could do it. You know, I think I was able to resist his jutsu this time just because I have you. You gave me something to fight for. No, more than that: you filled my frozen heart with so much love that I even learned how to love myself. You _did_ help me, in the end. I am the one who should be thanking you."

She turned around to face him. "But still, when you said you were giving up on me… It hurt. It hurt so much I could die." Harumi clasped her heart. "I never thought the same person capable of making me walk on cloud nine could slice me open like that."

Gaara pointed to his spleen. "I could say the same thing but way more literally."

Her face got squirmed. "It really _isn't_ okay, right? Wanna wound me non-lethally to make it even?"

Gaara snorted to her absurd idea. "No!"

"Okay, so what do you want, then?"

The Kazekage looked at her. By now, he felt like he knew all the details of her by the heart. He knew the fairness of her skin, the smoothness of her hair, her one of a kind smile, the uniqueness of her scent, the gleam of her eyes, the taste of her lips, the warmth of her body...

She _was_ the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. Smiling or not. He treasured every single of her expressions and he wanted to spend all the hours of his life finding more layers and more expression on his little vixen.

And there was only one thing he could ask of a woman like that.

"I want… a credit." He told her.

Harumi's eyebrow went up in response. "A credit?"

"Yes. I want the right of asking something of you that you can't refuse." He gulped. "But I don't want to get ahead of myself and ask now, so remember I have this credit when I propose... I mean, when I ask what I want to ask."

Harumi teared up. Then, very slowly, she tilted her head to the side and smiled softly. Gaara's heart stopped. He wondered if it would come a day when he would stop being amazed by her beauty. Right now, he highly doubted it.

And the realized something: the expression she had right now was his. That was _his_ smile that was nothing alike the smile she had shown when Sai apologized. That smile, that laugh, was an expression of the pure joy she was feeling back then. _This_ smile had way more emotions than just joy. It was a declaration of love itself.

An exclusive wonder that Harumi would show just for him.

"For you record," she said, wiping her tears "I would have said yes to that even without a credit."

That made him smile too. "Well, I'm no man of taking risks. Specially when it's so essential to me to have you saying yes."

She threw her arms around him, forgetting she was wet from bath and Gaara was fully dressed. "There you go again, making my heart throb like that."

His trained hearing could capture her heart beating like a hummingbird's. He had indeed broken through all of the heavily guarded walls of pain and solitude that Harumi had built around herself. It was an achievement comparable to break through his sand shield.

He finally understood what Temari meant by saying the reason why she could wound his body so easily.

"That is precisely what loving someone means." He said out loud.

Harumi raised her eyes to his face, still holding him tightly. "Hm?"

"You and I were doomed. We're stuck together." He searched for her hand to entwine his fingers on hers. "Despite everyone having their own way of loving someone else, being truly in love with someone always means allowing the loved one to get inside your skin, breaking through all your defenses, as you go completely vulnerable. That is to say that, yes, you will always be able to wound my body and pierce my soul easily, and, as long as you love me, I will be capable of hurting you more than you anything or anyone ever did."

Harumi chuckled. "It's a good thing that we're both addicted to pain, then."

His small giggle on her ear sent shivers down her spine. "Actually, what I want to say is: being in love with each other also means that you will always be the only one capable of making me happy and I will be the only one who can do the same to you. And I promise I will spend every waking moment trying to do so."

She pushed him away gently. "You've raised too much the level of the conversation. How can I say something to compare to _that_?"

He grinned. "You can say you love me beyond words again. I'll take it."

"No, I…" Harumi got out of the bath and kneeled on the floor in front of him. "Takeshi Rindou was able to mind-fuck me with his jutsu to kill my mother and I loved her more than life itself."

"Harumi, that wasn't…"

She nodded. "I know. I get it now thanks to you. But my point is: he wasn't able to make me kill _you_."

And just like that, the memories of that fateful morning came back to him. The pain, the confusion, the scream… and the salty, warm liquid dripping on his lips. Tears.

Even under the control of that awful man, Harumi didn't forget how much she loved. Her feeling for him were strong enough to make her cry. Her feelings were strong enough to make her sword cut through his spleen and lung when his heart was just a few inches away.

It was his turn to tear up.

Harumi tilted her head again. "Do you get how much you mean to me now?"

He nodded and she got up.

"Good. Now come," she reached out to help him to get up too "they must be waiting us for dinner."

Gaara took her hand. "But you'll get dressed first, right?"

She smiled playfully. "You'll have to lend me another shirt."


End file.
